A Step By Step Guide To Being Popular On Anime Forums.
I mean no offence by this, I saw it on another forum and thought it was funny!!
1. Be Asian.
Undoubtedly the most important step. If you're Asian (particularly a female Asian), you've got it made; you won't need to do a single thing to be popular. Everyone will want to be your friend. It doesn't matter if you have absolutely no personality at all, either.
Note: this only applies to anime forums that mainly populated by Americans, or people of any other English speaking nation.
Note 2: If you can't be Asian, act Asian (see step 5).
2. Compare Yourself With Cool Anime Characters.
Do this as often as possible. The more you compare yourself with the favourable characteristics (or even unfavourable characteristics, it doesn't seem to matter much), the more people will think you are like their anime idols (even though you know you're just kidding yourself).
3. Be "Depressed".
Post about this often, so that it gives gulliable posters the opportunity to comfort you. This works better if you're a female, because for some reason most males on anime forums seem to like sad females (whereas most females on anime forums like the "cool, lead character that is perverted" archetype).
4. Post A Lot Of Pictures Of Yourself.
This only works if you're not ugly or fat. If you're ugly or fat, you can make up for this by posting revealing images of yourself in Japanese attire (kimonos, for example). The Forum Males will be bowing at your feet. This can work for males, but you have to make sure that you are wearing the following in such photos:
* No shirt.
* At least one earing; the more piercings, the better.
* A stupid, contrieved, "evil" grin.
* Eye shadow.
* Appropriate hair (i.e. long, flowing hair, those stupid little spikes, or hair that is dyed strange colours).
5. Use Japanese Language In Regular Conversation.
Or any other Asian language (they all appear the same to 99% of the non-Japanese-speaking Online Users). Slip a "baka" or the occasional Asian proverb in. Don't worry about it not making any sense at all to randomly place Asian words into English sentences. Making sense is not what popularity on Anime Forums is about at all.
6. Be A Pervert.
Only works if you're a female, or an extremely attractive male. Apparently just talking about sex on an anime forum makes one a pervert, since most Anime Forums Users are giggly little teenagers who can't say "penis" without laughing themselves to death.
7. Be A Pseudo-Asshole Who Has A Sense Of Superiority Over Everyone Else On The Forum.
Most Forums Users can't fill this roll effectively, so needless to say, you may not always come across this character everywhere you go.
This position is currently filled. Piss off.
8. Be Random.
Constantly spout unintelligble, irrelevant bullshit with every post you make. for some reason, most Forum Users enjoy this, often finding it humourous.
9. Be Evil/Contemplate World Domination.
For some reason these long standing cliches still seem to prove effective at gaining popularity points with Anime Forum Users. If you're somehow afriad of these "Evil" people, don't be; they're little more than fluffy ducklings who are attempting to appear like their (usually anime) idol. About the closets most of these people get to being evil is drinking straight out of the milk carton.
Follow these rules, and you'll be the King of the forum.