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Thread: Vertical Stride(poem)

  1. #1
    Newbie T Elocin may be famous one day T Elocin may be famous one day T Elocin's Avatar
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    Vertical Stride(poem)

    I haven't been on for a while cause I've been grounded but my mom finally said i can get on but i'm still grounded. just thought i'd say something in case anyone was wondering. Nevermind, no one probably even noticed I was gone... but thats ok. Anyway, getting to the point- here's a poem I made. for some reason i was so proud that i wrote it- but lets see what you guys think.


    I went outside one night
    The moon my only light
    And as I looked up; I thoght that I would cry
    There was a young woman falling from the sky
    Her head slightly cocked
    Her eyes wide and shocked
    Her face was so pale
    But it told me her tale
    "I'm lost within a hopeless haze"
    Cried her mindless gaze
    With no more dreams to follow
    She fell-completely hollow
    Full of sorrow and regret
    I felt as if we'd met
    Dressed in silk and lace
    A fatal fall from grace
    And to my horror, I relized she was me
    How could this be?
    Before I had another thought
    I found the answer that i sought
    My world began to fade
    And i found myself within night's shade
    Falling through the sky
    The clouds speeding by
    My laced pajamas streaming out
    I could not move; I could not shout
    I tried to warn the me below
    But she stood; transfixed by the show
    I already knew it was too late
    How'd I get stuck with such a horrible fate?
    So manyy things I wanted to do
    But I had no more dreams to follow me through
    I watched helpless as she disappeared;
    The cold hard stone readily neared
    I felt so empty deep inside
    And there was nothing to break my vertical stride
    Tears sparkling all around
    I awaited my death into the ground
    I closed my eyes and ceased to cry
    Cause when there's nothing left, your not afriad to die.

  2. #2
    Otaku vb0xn4rd may be famous one day vb0xn4rd may be famous one day
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    You should be proud of that poem, because it was great! It sounded cool on the first read, and now that I've reread it a few times to make sure I get it, I like it even more.

  3. #3
    Newbie T Elocin may be famous one day T Elocin may be famous one day T Elocin's Avatar
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    LOL! thanx. I had fun writing it. Thanks for the feedback.

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    Otaku MuMu Champion Shade/K' Heart may be famous one day Shade/K' Heart may be famous one day Shade/K' Heart's Avatar
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    Very Nice Indeed. That is worth reading again and again. It painted a beautiful picture in my mind, and when you've do that, you've done more than most. Great job again.

    Far be it for me to be anything special, when the only special thing I desire with me, is the special person I share my gifts with.

  5. #5
    Newbie T Elocin may be famous one day T Elocin may be famous one day T Elocin's Avatar
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    Thanks. its a dream I had. It was so strange, i just had to write about it. I dream about really weird stuff. but i can never figure out what it means. Kinda strange but, I can't control my mind. anyway thanks a lot. Its my fav poem i've written so far.

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