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Thread: The Window (poem)

  1. #1
    Newbie T Elocin may be famous one day T Elocin may be famous one day T Elocin's Avatar
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    The Window (poem)

    School was always boring
    It bored me to my core
    The room was always bland
    And the teacher talked more and more

    Alone in my desk
    A simple window nearby
    You couldn't tell I wasn't listening
    With the innocent look in my eye

    That window always caught my fancy
    Symetrical, and crystal clear
    A blanked look crossed my features
    As the walls did disappear

    A free-fall from the heavens
    I'd fall until my wings did catch
    The crisp, winter air
    A good 20 feet they did streatch

    Swirling, twirling, whirling
    Turning sharp towards the sky
    Like an up-side-down ocean
    What a dream it was to fly

    Landing near a maple tree
    Close my wings; they fade away
    I stare up at the winters' branches
    Even in the gentle breeze they sway

    A moan leaking through the cracks
    A ghostly place this be
    The texture formed a perfect shape
    There was a face on this tree!

    Look! I've found a leg, an arm
    And where the lines did dive
    I've discovered the torso; good heavens!
    This creature is alive!

    The tree sprung to life
    As a yelp escaped my trembling lips
    And four bland walls appeared
    While my teacher stood hands-on-hips

    Once again within this prision
    "Try and pay more attention dear."
    I shook my head slowly, and noticed
    the window still lingered near
    Losing myself within the scene
    The walls would disapear
    Flying through the sky, smiling,
    "They can never hold me here"
    Last edited by T Elocin; Apr 03, 2005 at 08:34 AM.

  2. #2
    Banned lord nikon may be famous one day lord nikon may be famous one day lord nikon's Avatar
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    Nice poem, but it's to long, try to make it shorter

  3. #3
    Otaku MuMu Champion Shade/K' Heart may be famous one day Shade/K' Heart may be famous one day Shade/K' Heart's Avatar
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    Those willing to read the length can enjoy this one. a poem can rarely be too long, in my opinion. Sorry Nikon. I liked it, it was nice. Remember, the longer a poem, the more the detail can be depicted, shortness comes when no detail or emotion can fill in. Just stuff I picked up myself. Nice job.

    Far be it for me to be anything special, when the only special thing I desire with me, is the special person I share my gifts with.

  4. #4
    Lady Barronmore Arrianna has become well known Arrianna has become well known Arrianna has become well known Arrianna's Avatar
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    Agreed, nicely done.

    l Stone Hold l Now We're Cooking! l Thanks to Kaos for the awesome sig!

  5. #5
    Self Banned and Loving it narrator may be famous one day narrator may be famous one day narrator's Avatar
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    Nice one. Written very well, the length of the poem didnt bother me

  6. #6
    Otaku bugsbunnyx may be famous one day bugsbunnyx may be famous one day
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    wow i think you got a real talent there 10/10

  7. #7
    Newbie T Elocin may be famous one day T Elocin may be famous one day T Elocin's Avatar
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    thanks guys! i appreciate your comments

  8. #8
    Otaku Kikieru may be famous one day Kikieru may be famous one day Kikieru's Avatar
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    no doubt 10/10,

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