Nice poem, but it's to long, try to make it shorter
School was always boring
It bored me to my core
The room was always bland
And the teacher talked more and more
Alone in my desk
A simple window nearby
You couldn't tell I wasn't listening
With the innocent look in my eye
That window always caught my fancy
Symetrical, and crystal clear
A blanked look crossed my features
As the walls did disappear
A free-fall from the heavens
I'd fall until my wings did catch
The crisp, winter air
A good 20 feet they did streatch
Swirling, twirling, whirling
Turning sharp towards the sky
Like an up-side-down ocean
What a dream it was to fly
Landing near a maple tree
Close my wings; they fade away
I stare up at the winters' branches
Even in the gentle breeze they sway
A moan leaking through the cracks
A ghostly place this be
The texture formed a perfect shape
There was a face on this tree!
Look! I've found a leg, an arm
And where the lines did dive
I've discovered the torso; good heavens!
This creature is alive!
The tree sprung to life
As a yelp escaped my trembling lips
And four bland walls appeared
While my teacher stood hands-on-hips
Once again within this prision
"Try and pay more attention dear."
I shook my head slowly, and noticed
the window still lingered near
Losing myself within the scene
The walls would disapear
Flying through the sky, smiling,
"They can never hold me here"
Last edited by T Elocin; Apr 03, 2005 at 08:34 AM.
Nice poem, but it's to long, try to make it shorter
Those willing to read the length can enjoy this one. a poem can rarely be too long, in my opinion. Sorry Nikon. I liked it, it was nice. Remember, the longer a poem, the more the detail can be depicted, shortness comes when no detail or emotion can fill in. Just stuff I picked up myself. Nice job.
Far be it for me to be anything special, when the only special thing I desire with me, is the special person I share my gifts with.
Agreed, nicely done.
Nice one. Written very well, the length of the poem didnt bother me
wow i think you got a real talent there 10/10
thanks guys! i appreciate your comments
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