Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: "You"

  1. #1
    You's Trollin Pro Leafblower Champion, Helicopter Champion ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Posts
    4,293
    Thanks
    30
    Thanked 38 Times in 36 Posts

    Unhappy "You"

    The sky is dark and so is your heart.
    The time is to short and so is your love.
    My wounds are so painfull and so my love for you.
    My mind is getting lost and so i'm losing you.
    When i see you i feel dizzy and so you don't see me.
    I always think in you and so you don't think in me.
    I feel so in love with you and so you must feel in love with other dude.




    i hope you like it, if not let me know to try to improve arigato.

  2. #2
    Banned Kikinaki may be famous one day Kikinaki may be famous one day Kikinaki's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Posts
    246
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Well i see no point to improve it whatsoever, kinda like it now as its written.

    Loving, short and simple poem which i enjoyed reading it and you know what people around here are saying all the time: 'The shorter, the better', just like your poem
    Last edited by Kikinaki; May 05, 2005 at 03:51 PM.

  3. #3
    Banned lord nikon may be famous one day lord nikon may be famous one day lord nikon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    NOWHERE
    Posts
    1,229
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Nice riming and all that shit, nice work.

  4. #4
    You's Trollin Pro Leafblower Champion, Helicopter Champion ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Posts
    4,293
    Thanks
    30
    Thanked 38 Times in 36 Posts
    arigato all of you.

  5. #5
    Otaku dark frog may be famous one day dark frog may be famous one day dark frog's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Amboy,Illinois
    Posts
    100
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    i thought it was pretty good u are just showing your feelings
    LIFES NOT A GARDEN SO STOP ACTING LIKE A STUPID HOE.

  6. #6
    Newbie A'Karuya may be famous one day A'Karuya may be famous one day A'Karuya's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    here
    Posts
    47
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    It was good I liked the feelings I felt when reading it
    LOVE LIFE WORK PAIN SARROW AND THE GRACE OF THE ANGELS TO EVERYONE

    always and forever, through pain and sorrow, through love and joy

    A'Karuya (the young warrior)

  7. #7
    Self Banned and Loving it narrator may be famous one day narrator may be famous one day narrator's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Check the cellar....
    Posts
    1,989
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    It's definately pretty and well laid out. Nice

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts