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Thread: Interview with a Bride for Hire

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    Newbie Badlywornshoes may be famous one day Badlywornshoes may be famous one day Badlywornshoes's Avatar
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    Interview with a Bride for Hire

    Okay so I got REALLY bored the other day and surfed the net until I found an interesting website: a cyber service that retailed Japanese girls (most in their late twenties, early thirties, the reasons for this I would find out later) as if they were plush dolls. Each girl had a brief profile that had obviously been translated via an electronic medium, i.e. Babelfish and the like, and they were very eager to hook up with "foreign gentlemen", particularly single white entrepeneurs. I picked a girl at random and setup a time to chat. Her profile was as follows:

    Name: Michiko
    Age: 31
    Fluency in English: I am of speaking in English is fluent.
    Bust Size: prefers not to say
    Blood Type: B+
    Favorite Color: Peppercorn

    I'm going to quickly note two things: She obviously demonstrates that she is completely fluent in English. Also, I'm not entirely sure where the color "peppercorn" fits into the color spectrum.

    The conversation:

    You enter the chat.
    Michiko enters the chat.

    MrForeigner: Hello there!
    Michiko: Hello it is nice to have meet you.
    MrForeigner: It is nice to have meet you too, Michiko. So, where are you from?
    Michiko: I am from Japan.
    MrForeigner: Oh. I thought you were from Siberia. Where in Japan are you from?
    Michiko: Sapporo.
    MrForeigner: That's in Hokkaido, isn't it?
    Michiko: Yes! hehe do u know of it place?
    MrForeigner: I have a friend who stays there occasionally. I noticed your blood type was B+.
    Michiko: Yes
    MrForeigner: Why did you just frown?
    Michiko: Frown?
    MrForeigner: Yes. The face. You typed ""
    Michiko: It is because my friends are of blood type A.
    MrForeigner: All of them?
    Michiko: yes
    MrForeigner: How many friends do you have?
    Michiko: many
    MrForeigner: Like 2? 10? 20?
    Michiko: 44
    MrForeigner: My goodness, Michiko! You're so popular! And all 44 of your friends have blood type A?
    Michiko: yes
    MrForeigner: That makes you special, I think.
    Michiko: does it like?
    MrForeigner: It likes. So tell me why do you want to marry an American man?
    Michiko: r u handsome?
    MrForeigner: I give Brad Pitt grooming tips.
    Michiko: do u know Mr. Pitt??
    MrForeigner: We played badminton together at Oxford.
    Michiko: ok
    MrForgeigner: Do you want an American man with lots of money?
    Michiko: yes lots of money
    MrForeigner: Well at least you've got your priorities straight. Why do you want a man with money?
    Michiko: so i can spend it hehehe
    MrForeigner: You have a sense of humor too. How charming.
    Michiko: i like many thing and teddy bears
    MrForeigner: I can be your teddy bear.
    Michiko: it is not understood
    MrForeigner: That's alright Michiko. You are a very nice person anyway.
    Michiko: oh thank you so much
    MrForeigner: It is my pleasure, as always. But I need to ask you a serious question now.
    Michiko: ask
    MrForeigner: Why don't you just marry a Japanese man? They don't put on the pounds as they get older and their hair generally doesn't fall out as quickly.
    Michiko: Japanese man are very boring. American play sports and good job.
    MrForeigner: That's debatable...
    Michiko: Baseball!
    Michiko: It is liked, very much hehe
    MrForeigner: Do you know Jiro?
    Michiko: of course!
    MrForeigner: You could marry him. I'm sure he has loads in the bank.
    Michiko: i want americn man. in Japan i am too old
    MrForeigner: But you're only 31!
    Michiko: it is old
    MrForeigner: Anyway, I really must get going. I have to go play badminton with Brad.
    Michiko: please to tell Mr. Pitt hello
    MrForeigner: Will do, sweet pea. Have a pleasant evening.
    Michiko: i hope we can talking again soon ok?
    MrForeigner: Yes there will be much talking. Farewell Michiko.

    Apparently, Japanese women know a great deal about America. They know that every white, young male is making a decent amount of cash, and that we're well connected. It seemed that Michiko bought into a lot of my little white lies, but how do you really know who you're talking to until you've met them, ne?

    ~Shig

  2. #2
    Banned Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip's Avatar
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    Re: Interview with a Bride for Hire

    Wow ... is this for real? And I am slightly dazed when they think 31 is too old to marry ...

  3. #3
    Newbie Badlywornshoes may be famous one day Badlywornshoes may be famous one day Badlywornshoes's Avatar
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    Re: Interview with a Bride for Hire

    Quote Originally Posted by Rave_Grip
    Wow ... is this for real? And I am slightly dazed when they think 31 is too old to marry ...
    I did some research into this. Apparently, it's a cultural thing for many Japanese girls to marry as young as possible. I have no idea why. I'm thinking possibly it has to do with the fact that there's this huge "schoolgirl" theme in Japanese culture; Japanese men are conditioned psychologically to pursue younger girls. Who knows? u.u

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    THUMBSUCKING ADDICTION Mr. K is making a name for themselves Mr. K is making a name for themselves Mr. K's Avatar
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    Re: Interview with a Bride for Hire

    Wow. Who would have ever thought. hmmm... shocking.
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    You's Trollin Pro Leafblower Champion, Helicopter Champion ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro's Avatar
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    Re: Interview with a Bride for Hire

    Quote Originally Posted by Badlywornshoes
    Japanese men are conditioned psychologically to pursue younger girls. Who knows? u.u
    Anime has something to do whith that tendency! Who wouldn't like to marry a young sexy girl? I would!

  6. #6
    Otaku sachiko ueto may be famous one day sachiko ueto may be famous one day sachiko ueto's Avatar
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    Re: Interview with a Bride for Hire

    uh, okay.... and she thought she was fluent in english? let me think about that...... XD

    They say you can't use oversized signatures here on AO.

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