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Old Apr 18, 2006, 10:56 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Re: My Ex's Best friend.O_O

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Originally Posted by alucard1950
hi tohru_punkcess.i could help you on this delimma.just tell me when and i'll tell you everything that you want to know.
Ok thanks for the offer, tht is very generous of you.
-----------------------------Double Post Merge---------------------------------------------
Quote:
Originally Posted by swordfish3
Well in a serious problem i always think it helps to put on some music that makes you feel good then make your decision then (scientists say that this music makes you choose the option that makes you happiest which is the best thing to do) but if it were me i would go out with him. because
1) To strike at my ex
2) To make myself feel good
3) Because I'll do what ever the hell i want to
Really?i didn't think of the music thing. I will also give that a try. lol I agree with all your points! and thanks for your thoughts and for the laugh as well. But theres also the fact that the bestfriend doesn't know if he should go out wit me either... should i be the one to ask him out, get the ball rolling? O_O
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Old Apr 18, 2006, 11:02 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Re: My Ex's Best friend.O_O

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tohru_Punkcess
Ok, hello everyone. I am sorry if im not supposed to write stuff like this here... but i need some help. ok, heres the thing... my Ex boyfriend and myself just broke up...and his best friend really likes me. I am like fallen for my ex still but i also really like his bestfriend... however, even tho his bf likes me he wont ask me out casue he doesn't know how far i went with his friend(no where actually) and he is afraid i will say no to him. Even still...however much i want to go out with the best friend...i still have strong feelings for my ex...i dont want to break their friendship apart ither. And it would be really strange to be going out with my ex's best friend espetually when they always hang out together. I don't know what to do. Lately i have been just ignoring them all because i can't handle it but its getting really tough...now one of my good friends is going out with my ex, another one of my good friends apperantly dislikes me and the other male fellow that i hang out with has a huuuuuge crush on me....(i dont like him that way at all) could someone help me? and sorry for dumping my life on you all but i need some help before i loose it. thanks alot.
First off you are not dumping your life but if u feel that way then I will personally carry your life. Now on to business, You have strong feelings for your boyfriend still and yet you like his friend.....hmm.....well the best thing I can tell you is think about the reason you and your BF broke up and say to yourself....do I truly want to go through that pain again? and then give it some time and see if your ex finds someone else...if he does and he and his best friend are true friends, then when and if u date his friend then he should not mind if he is a true friend. But if you ever need to talk then send me a PM or I can talk to you on here it does not matter to me either way.
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Old Apr 18, 2006, 11:04 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Re: My Ex's Best friend.O_O

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Originally Posted by cerebrum
I see..... U should probably ask urself why u broke up with him in the first place. Do u really want 2 hang on to someone that u broke up with 4 whatever reason?
Also keep in mind he is no longer available.
Yes good point. But i didn't break up with him for anything bad exactly..i just noticed that he was starting to stray rom me i guess you could put it. He was starting to like this other person and so he started spacing himself out from me. And i felt like i was holding him down from what he wants... i dont want to do that to someone i care for. now i actually get the phrase " If you truely love someone, you will let them go" ugh!. Yes and the fact that he is no longer available. Ive gotten over the fact that i cannot be with him anymore mentally but its emotionally that it continues to burn. Yes, i guess i put up a good act as to "gotten over him" My sister says i only feel so strongly towards him because he was my 1st bf. (NO ONE LAUGH AT ME! lol)
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Old Apr 18, 2006, 11:10 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Re: My Ex's Best friend.O_O

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tohru_Punkcess
Yes good point. But i didn't break up with him for anything bad exactly..i just noticed that he was starting to stray rom me i guess you could put it. He was starting to like this other person and so he started spacing himself out from me. And i felt like i was holding him down from what he wants... i dont want to do that to someone i care for. now i actually get the phrase " If you truely love someone, you will let them go" ugh!. Yes and the fact that he is no longer available. Ive gotten over the fact that i cannot be with him anymore mentally but its emotionally that it continues to burn. Yes, i guess i put up a good act as to "gotten over him" My sister says i only feel so strongly towards him because he was my 1st bf. (NO ONE LAUGH AT ME! lol)
Hey it does not matter....I have dated but only long distance so in truth I never dated yet....and I am 17, a senior in high school and a virgin....but does it bother me...hell no it makes me somewhat prideful because I dont treat women with disrespect.
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Old Apr 18, 2006, 11:10 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Re: My Ex's Best friend.O_O

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alucard_Spriggan
First off you are not dumping your life but if u feel that way then I will personally carry your life. Now on to business, You have strong feelings for your boyfriend still and yet you like his friend.....hmm.....well the best thing I can tell you is think about the reason you and your BF broke up and say to yourself....do I truly want to go through that pain again? and then give it some time and see if your ex finds someone else...if he does and he and his best friend are true friends, then when and if u date his friend then he should not mind if he is a true friend. But if you ever need to talk then send me a PM or I can talk to you on here it does not matter to me either way.
Thank you Alcard, that is very nice of you to say. Also like i said to cerebrum, the reason i broke up with him was not all that bad as most may think, i just felt like he was pushing away from me...and he asked me if we could go an a break to get him mind strait, then i decided i couldent stand the hurt of seeing him so pained that i decided to break up with him. But i got even more pain when he went out with my best friend like the next day. He told me that he had a messed up life right now and that is why we became so parted and thats why he asked for the break, but then how could he possibly go out with this other girl? And yes true friends dont part ever but im just worried...these guys are the kind to likely stop being friends because of this situation, and i dont want that. they are like brothers.
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Originally Posted by Alucard_Spriggan
Hey it does not matter....I have dated but only long distance so in truth I never dated yet....and I am 17, a senior in high school and a virgin....but does it bother me...hell no it makes me somewhat prideful because I dont treat women with disrespect.
hey we are kind of on the same boat then! Cept im 15(turning 16 soon) and im a virgin. It doesn't bother me ither because im not going to end up being some guys Whore or "bitch". That is not me at all! And also you are like my exs bestfriend that i was talking bout. he is 17 and a virgin as well. thats cool! My ex however is 16 and not a virgin and he's had sex like alot of times wich turned me away...but w/e.
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Old Apr 18, 2006, 11:15 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Re: My Ex's Best friend.O_O

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tohru_Punkcess
Thank you Alcard, that is very nice of you to say. Also like i said to cerebrum, the reason i broke up with him was not all that bad as most may think, i just felt like he was pushing away from me...and he asked me if we could go an a break to get him mind strait, then i decided i couldent stand the hurt of seeing him so pained that i decided to break up with him. But i got even more pain when he went out with my best friend like the next day. He told me that he had a messed up life right now and that is why we became so parted and thats why he asked for the break, but then how could he possibly go out with this other girl? And yes true friends dont part ever but im just worried...these guys are the kind to likely stop being friends because of this situation, and i dont want that. they are like brothers.
Yes but like I said if they are true friends and brothers like I am with a few of my friends...then it should not matter.....they may not talk for a while like I did not talk to my friend for a while because he did something really bad...but I forgave him and we are talking again.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tohru_Punkcess
hey we are kind of on the same boat then! Cept im 15(turning 16 soon) and im a virgin. It doesn't bother me ither because im not going to end up being some guys Whore or "bitch". That is not me at all! And also you are like my exs bestfriend that i was talking bout. he is 17 and a virgin as well. thats cool! My ex however is 16 and not a virgin and he's had sex like alot of times wich turned me away...but w/e.
Yeah I dont believe in disrespecting a women and I respect everyone until they disrespect me unless they are an adult...then I just respect them even if they disrespect me.
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Old Apr 18, 2006, 11:20 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Re: My Ex's Best friend.O_O

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alucard_Spriggan
Yes but like I said if they are true friends and brothers like I am with a few of my friends...then it should not matter.....they may not talk for a while like I did not talk to my friend for a while because he did something really bad...but I forgave him and we are talking again.



Yeah I dont believe in disrespecting a women and I respect everyone until they disrespect me unless they are an adult...then I just respect them even if they disrespect me.
Yeah, i hope it happens that way for them, or i will feel extreemly bad about it. And adults are always to be Respected even if they do not deserve it! *to my mom* no mom that does not mean you, you have lost my repect for you *back to site* Anywho...
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Old Apr 18, 2006, 11:20 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Re: My Ex's Best friend.O_O

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tohru_Punkcess
Really?i didn't think of the music thing. I will also give that a try. lol I agree with all your points! and thanks for your thoughts and for the laugh as well. But theres also the fact that the bestfriend doesn't know if he should go out wit me either... should i be the one to ask him out, get the ball rolling? O_O
Definetly if you dont then he will end up going out with somebody else and then you will be filled with regret at what might have happened rather than feeling good because you asked him out and he said yes
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Old Apr 18, 2006, 11:22 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Re: My Ex's Best friend.O_O

Quote:
Originally Posted by swordfish3
Definetly if you dont then he will end up going out with somebody else and then you will be filled with regret at what might have happened rather than feeling good because you asked him out and he said yes
*nods thankfully* yes i will think about it for a little bit more and i have set myself a dead line. This friday, do or die(not literally tho lol) Thanks Swordfish! lets be friends too
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Old Apr 18, 2006, 11:29 AM   #21 (permalink)
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Re: My Ex's Best friend.O_O

I only hope some of the stuff I said helped at least a little. I've been outta the date pool for 5 years tnx to my cancer and other things messin wit my life, so I don' know how good my advice would be.
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Old Apr 18, 2006, 11:29 AM   #22 (permalink)
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Re: My Ex's Best friend.O_O

hahahaha... glad 2 see ur finally goin 2 do something bout this dilemma. U may not want 2 pass up an oppurtunity, but still u shouldn't rush urself. Good luck.
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