24 hours of nothing

starfire1036 · Jun 15, 2008, 02:51 AM

Awake
endless motion
energy take
sublime formation

1 or 2
maybe 3 or 4
time to time
never stopping

what to do
nothing to think of
it enrages you
yet nothing to think of

24
yet seemingless infinity
in the dark
insanity

can u slip
fall asleep
close your eyes
fall into your minds guise

stay away
can you really
stay sane
unpossiblity

basilisk888 · Jun 15, 2008, 05:32 PM

I do not know really what to say but to start it all with the format... but there is another thing about this... it makes you want to read more... this could last for pages and pages.... in other words REALLY GOOD!!! great job

*jaderabbit* · Jun 15, 2008, 05:36 PM

is it impossibility.
Hmm it sounds nice has a little word play as well, i think u could describe the darkness better. but a awesome poem non the less

*Peach_follows* · Jun 15, 2008, 06:25 PM

hey I really like this poem. Different from alot of the stuff I see here. Don't get me wrong... every piece is original and unique in its own right. But there are only few that really seem to stand out and demand attention.

*jaderabbit* · Jun 15, 2008, 06:30 PM

True true, at least it wasn't a big romancey kissy kissy poem. i think to many love poems sometimes its just nice that u can get to read some pure anguish.

starfire1036 · Jun 15, 2008, 10:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jaderabbit

True true, at least it wasn't a big romancey kissy kissy poem. i think to many love poems sometimes its just nice that u can get to read some pure anguish.

ah... ya see the poem is not about darkness nor anguish but the insanity that you get from being trapped in a dark area for 24 hours u just sit there and nothing happens

Jun 15, 2008, 02:51 AM	#1 (permalink)
starfire1036 Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 195 Thanks: 43 Thanked 15 Times in 14 Posts Credits: 8,417	24 hours of nothing Awake endless motion energy take sublime formation 1 or 2 maybe 3 or 4 time to time never stopping what to do nothing to think of it enrages you yet nothing to think of 24 yet seemingless infinity in the dark insanity can u slip fall asleep close your eyes fall into your minds guise stay away can you really stay sane unpossiblity
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Jun 15, 2008, 05:32 PM	#2 (permalink)
basilisk888 Devoted Otaku Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: death and life again Posts: 500 Thanks: 7 Thanked 14 Times in 13 Posts Credits: 14,011	Re: 24 hours of nothing I do not know really what to say but to start it all with the format... but there is another thing about this... it makes you want to read more... this could last for pages and pages.... in other words REALLY GOOD!!! great job __________________ fire is good to have in hand 0.0
Status: Offline

Jun 15, 2008, 05:36 PM	#3 (permalink)
jaderabbit Cheetos Overlord Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: The World Posts: 3,650 Thanks: 0 Thanked 3 Times in 2 Posts Credits: 7,251	Re: 24 hours of nothing is it impossibility. Hmm it sounds nice has a little word play as well, i think u could describe the darkness better. but a awesome poem non the less __________________ -Just another green eyed angel, distorted by mans love for hate- \|THE INFAMOUS\|The Host\|Twilight Series\|Twilight Movie\|Untouched!\|
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Jun 15, 2008, 06:25 PM	#4 (permalink)
Peach_follows Femmebot's feel nothing. Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Friendly Fridley Posts: 1,026 Thanks: 42 Thanked 32 Times in 30 Posts Credits: 2,215	Re: 24 hours of nothing hey I really like this poem. Different from alot of the stuff I see here. Don't get me wrong... every piece is original and unique in its own right. But there are only few that really seem to stand out and demand attention. __________________ Who needs a spray can, when you're a femmebot? http://www.myspace.com/j1gg481tt
Status: Offline

Jun 15, 2008, 06:30 PM	#5 (permalink)
jaderabbit Cheetos Overlord Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: The World Posts: 3,650 Thanks: 0 Thanked 3 Times in 2 Posts Credits: 7,251	Re: 24 hours of nothing True true, at least it wasn't a big romancey kissy kissy poem. i think to many love poems sometimes its just nice that u can get to read some pure anguish. __________________ -Just another green eyed angel, distorted by mans love for hate- \|THE INFAMOUS\|The Host\|Twilight Series\|Twilight Movie\|Untouched!\|
Status: Offline

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