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Thread: 2big Poems

  1. #9
    AO's Demon Slayer Hexxagon Champion, Match Stick Soccer Champion Blade X may be famous one day Blade X may be famous one day Blade X's Avatar
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    Re: 2big Poems

    oh leave her alone. i'm sure tht we r jus chatting on how to improve it.

    Thanks for the siggy Ky-lyrra

  2. #10
    NalaMidnight Eggs Champion P.R. Princess may be famous one day P.R. Princess may be famous one day P.R. Princess's Avatar
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    Re: 2big Poems

    Hey
    well heres the other poem you' been waiting for
    this one is depressing so prepare yourself

    Darkness

    I feel it comeing
    I feel it creeping
    I feel it sneaking
    Comeing my way
    it's desolate and dark
    like a gray park
    you see the flowers
    but with no life
    and black are the towers

    The darkness though
    is not outside of me
    but within
    The darknes is hatered,
    anger,
    revenge,
    sorrow,
    and lost love

    I hate the way I feel
    but I cant help it
    I want to get everyone
    for the pain they have caused
    I want to hurt them like they did me
    yet I want to love
    and I cant

    The memory of what they did
    it still lingers in my head
    I cant stop the image
    From playing over and over in mr head
    I see the dead
    I see the hate
    I see me

    In the darkness I feel
    cold and helpless
    like I need my night
    in his shineing armor to rescue me
    but it is a fairy tale I seek
    and I know I will always
    always live on the peek of darkness

    well there you go hope you liked them both ^_^

    ~Falling in love one step at a time~
    ~ MYSPACE~AWESOME PLACE TO SAVE~

  3. #11
    Banned Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip's Avatar
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    Re: 2big Poems

    I can say that this one is much better than before. Dark and quiet interesting ^_^

  4. #12
    AO's Demon Slayer Hexxagon Champion, Match Stick Soccer Champion Blade X may be famous one day Blade X may be famous one day Blade X's Avatar
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    Re: 2big Poems

    this one is quite contrasting compare to the other poem. It's certainly depressing with the desire to hate those who have hurt u n yet u want to love despite wut they did to u. It's not sort of dark enough to go with it but it's got tht right level of darkness with in. This is getting good, P.R. hope i read more of ur work.

    Thanks for the siggy Ky-lyrra

  5. #13
    NalaMidnight Eggs Champion P.R. Princess may be famous one day P.R. Princess may be famous one day P.R. Princess's Avatar
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    Re: 2big Poems

    Thanks for the support
    getting some good advice ^_^

    ~Falling in love one step at a time~
    ~ MYSPACE~AWESOME PLACE TO SAVE~

  6. #14
    Otaku karinka may be famous one day karinka may be famous one day karinka's Avatar
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    Re: 2big Poems

    There was a grammer mistake but other than that it's good.

  7. #15
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    Re: 2big Poems

    I likes the second better personnally. I liked the first, but it sounded too average. No offence. I can't do poem worth a damn, so I'm glad I can read peoples peoms that aren't as horrible as mine. Yay poem threads!!!

  8. #16
    NalaMidnight Eggs Champion P.R. Princess may be famous one day P.R. Princess may be famous one day P.R. Princess's Avatar
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    Re: 2big Poems

    thanks and I know about the grammer I cant spell to save my life
    and I try my best on the poems try to make them unique but alot of times I cant
    but I just started so I know I will get better

    ~Falling in love one step at a time~
    ~ MYSPACE~AWESOME PLACE TO SAVE~

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