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Thread: The 3 boys

  1. #1
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    The 3 boys

    The 3 Boys

    A boy looks outside from his window,
    It was raining continuously for hours.
    He hates looking at the black clouds,
    but he found that the rainbow after rain is beautiful.

    "The "pain" was worth it," He thought to himself.
    At least he could gaze upon the seven colours of light.
    It made him smile but only for a while,
    because soon after the sky cries again...

    ....

    Another boy sits down by the beach,
    on a big rock, he watches the horizon.
    His heart is filled with envy.
    Watching the happy couples went by made him grit his teeth.

    He can only look into his empty arms,
    then wind blows gently to his face.
    It soothes him and makes him calmer,
    but sadly the sight of his "loneliness" made roar like the violent waves.

    ....

    Then there's this another boy.
    Silently sighing under a shady tree.
    The green landscape filled with colourful flowers,
    where a small canal flows down to an old cottage.

    He is smiling to him self,
    enjoying the fresh air and scenary.
    Then he looked down and frown.
    He wishes so much that he can enjoy this with someone...

    ...

    Silly things about this three boys.
    They all fell in love with an Angel.
    Their mom even once told them to look for someone more down to earth.
    I find it funny that they are all none other than me...


    Hmmm what chu guys think?
    Last edited by RayMe; Nov 02, 2007 at 12:23 AM.

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  2. #2
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: The 3 boys

    Aww... Ray! *hugs* such a nice, wonderfull poem!!! A really, really nice work, with descriptions and everything... wonderful- it's like putting all your best dreams and favourite spots in one peom- great!!! ^^ *sniff* It made me cry ^^

    Really, really nice work!!!! ^^ I can't even say "Can't wait to see more." because this is about as much as someone could do, this is about... perfection ^^

    Great work!!! ^^ I love it sooo much!

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

  3. #3
    Rawr~ :3 Boxteroid Champion, flyplane Champion, Home Run Champion, Bubbelfutsch Champion, Fire Fighter Champion, Brendans Soccer Champion, Movie Star Match-Up Champion, Total blackout Champion, Text Your Reflexes Champion, Scary movie Champion, Hulk Smash Up Champion, Star Wars Champion, Extreme Snowboarding Champion, Air Disc Champion, Action Fish Champion, A Game Of 3 Halves Champion, Battleball Champion, Hacky Sack Champion, FAD 2003 Champion, SQRL Golf Champion, Dr Yeckyl and Mr Ride Champion, Sky Glide Champion, Flyer Champion, Finnair Champion, Drachenjagd Champion, Canyon Glider Champion, City Surfing Champion, Action Driving Game Champion, Extreme Rowing Champion, Kardahdg Champion, Acceleracers Track Mod Champion, Final Test Champion, Du Wichtel Champion, Pedal Power Champion, Camera Killer 2 Champion, Bike Mania on ICE Champion, ATV Winter Challenge Champion, Caliber Dash Champion, Diesel and Death Champion, Snow Ride Champion, Camera Killer Champion, Pepsi Jet Ski Champion, Bumper Cars Championship Champion, Drifting Champion, Get A Grip Champion, Rooney on the Rampage Champion, Death To Ninja Champion, Kung Fu Hustle 2 Champion, Muay Thai Champion, Metal Arm FAWEGE Champion, Knife Champion, Classroom Fighter Champion, Nobuyuki Forces 3 Champion, Caddeva Champion, Sewer Dweller Champion, Angel Mart Champion, Snowy Champion, Bola Champion, Boiler Room Champion, Bobcat Champion, Amazon Quest Champion, Booty Champion, Five Errors Champion, Mind Your Marbles Champion, Angel Fruit Champion, Binggrae Champion, Candy Shoot Champion, Imperial tiles Champion, Himalayaya - Yeti Strikes Back Champion, Terrorist Attack Champion, Americas Army Champion, Special Operations Champion, Destroy the robots Champion, Cubicle Warfare Champion, Battle Field Champion, Weapons Dealer Champion, Army Copter Champion, Flat War Champion, Terrorist Alert Champion, Bully Basher Champion, Reaktor Champion, Bungee Rescue Champion, The Contraptor Champion, Boris Champion, Carling Cold Champion, Paddleball Champion RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe's Avatar
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    Re: The 3 boys

    ehehe ty ^^ *hugs back* glad you enjoyed it ^^ i did my best in less than 30minutes

    Really, really nice work!!!! ^^ I can't even say "Can't wait to see more." because this is about as much as someone could do, this is about... perfection ^^
    now now.. im not that good.. ^^ but thank you very much

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  4. #4
    Otaku xxoxx is off to a good start xxoxx's Avatar
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    Re: The 3 boys

    That was nice poem and I like it because when I read like a story about three boys ...
    and the most sentence I love it ..This it such as a dvice ..

    Their mom even once told them to look for someone more down to earth.
    I find it funny that they are all none other than me...

    By the way Nice work ...^^

    Foolish beating

  5. #5
    Rawr~ :3 Boxteroid Champion, flyplane Champion, Home Run Champion, Bubbelfutsch Champion, Fire Fighter Champion, Brendans Soccer Champion, Movie Star Match-Up Champion, Total blackout Champion, Text Your Reflexes Champion, Scary movie Champion, Hulk Smash Up Champion, Star Wars Champion, Extreme Snowboarding Champion, Air Disc Champion, Action Fish Champion, A Game Of 3 Halves Champion, Battleball Champion, Hacky Sack Champion, FAD 2003 Champion, SQRL Golf Champion, Dr Yeckyl and Mr Ride Champion, Sky Glide Champion, Flyer Champion, Finnair Champion, Drachenjagd Champion, Canyon Glider Champion, City Surfing Champion, Action Driving Game Champion, Extreme Rowing Champion, Kardahdg Champion, Acceleracers Track Mod Champion, Final Test Champion, Du Wichtel Champion, Pedal Power Champion, Camera Killer 2 Champion, Bike Mania on ICE Champion, ATV Winter Challenge Champion, Caliber Dash Champion, Diesel and Death Champion, Snow Ride Champion, Camera Killer Champion, Pepsi Jet Ski Champion, Bumper Cars Championship Champion, Drifting Champion, Get A Grip Champion, Rooney on the Rampage Champion, Death To Ninja Champion, Kung Fu Hustle 2 Champion, Muay Thai Champion, Metal Arm FAWEGE Champion, Knife Champion, Classroom Fighter Champion, Nobuyuki Forces 3 Champion, Caddeva Champion, Sewer Dweller Champion, Angel Mart Champion, Snowy Champion, Bola Champion, Boiler Room Champion, Bobcat Champion, Amazon Quest Champion, Booty Champion, Five Errors Champion, Mind Your Marbles Champion, Angel Fruit Champion, Binggrae Champion, Candy Shoot Champion, Imperial tiles Champion, Himalayaya - Yeti Strikes Back Champion, Terrorist Attack Champion, Americas Army Champion, Special Operations Champion, Destroy the robots Champion, Cubicle Warfare Champion, Battle Field Champion, Weapons Dealer Champion, Army Copter Champion, Flat War Champion, Terrorist Alert Champion, Bully Basher Champion, Reaktor Champion, Bungee Rescue Champion, The Contraptor Champion, Boris Champion, Carling Cold Champion, Paddleball Champion RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe's Avatar
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    Re: The 3 boys

    ^^ thank you...

    Yup.. that advise meant as dont try to get someone who you think you'll never get...and i used that someone by referring to Angel...

    but love is strong... the boys wont let their dream go away just like that... even they have to get themselves out of this world...

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  6. #6
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    Re: The 3 boys

    Quote Originally Posted by RayMe View Post
    The 3 Boys

    A boy looks outside from his window,
    It was raining continuously for hours.
    He hates looking at the black clouds,
    but he found that the rainbow after rain is beautiful.

    "The "pain" was worth it," He thought to himself.
    At least he could gaze upon the seven colours of light.
    It made him smile but only for a while,
    because soon after the sky cries again...

    ....

    Another boy sits down by the beach,
    on a big rock, he watches the horizon.
    His heart is filled with envy.
    Watching the happy couples went by made him grit his teeths.

    He can only look into his empty arms,
    then wind blows gently to his face.
    It soothes him and makes him calmer,
    but sadly the sight of his "loneliness" made roar like the violent waves.

    ....

    Then there's this another boy.
    Silently sighing under a shady tree.
    The green landscape filled with colourful flowers,
    where a small canal flows down to an old cottage.

    He is smiling to him self,
    enjoying the fresh air and scenary.
    Then he looked down and frown.
    He wishes so much that he can enjoy this with someone...

    ...

    Silly things about this three boys.
    They all fell in love with an Angel.
    Their mom even once told them to look for someone more down to earth.
    I find it funny that they are all none other than me...


    Hmmm what chu guys think?
    great job man keep it up well done its great

  7. #7
    Rawr~ :3 Boxteroid Champion, flyplane Champion, Home Run Champion, Bubbelfutsch Champion, Fire Fighter Champion, Brendans Soccer Champion, Movie Star Match-Up Champion, Total blackout Champion, Text Your Reflexes Champion, Scary movie Champion, Hulk Smash Up Champion, Star Wars Champion, Extreme Snowboarding Champion, Air Disc Champion, Action Fish Champion, A Game Of 3 Halves Champion, Battleball Champion, Hacky Sack Champion, FAD 2003 Champion, SQRL Golf Champion, Dr Yeckyl and Mr Ride Champion, Sky Glide Champion, Flyer Champion, Finnair Champion, Drachenjagd Champion, Canyon Glider Champion, City Surfing Champion, Action Driving Game Champion, Extreme Rowing Champion, Kardahdg Champion, Acceleracers Track Mod Champion, Final Test Champion, Du Wichtel Champion, Pedal Power Champion, Camera Killer 2 Champion, Bike Mania on ICE Champion, ATV Winter Challenge Champion, Caliber Dash Champion, Diesel and Death Champion, Snow Ride Champion, Camera Killer Champion, Pepsi Jet Ski Champion, Bumper Cars Championship Champion, Drifting Champion, Get A Grip Champion, Rooney on the Rampage Champion, Death To Ninja Champion, Kung Fu Hustle 2 Champion, Muay Thai Champion, Metal Arm FAWEGE Champion, Knife Champion, Classroom Fighter Champion, Nobuyuki Forces 3 Champion, Caddeva Champion, Sewer Dweller Champion, Angel Mart Champion, Snowy Champion, Bola Champion, Boiler Room Champion, Bobcat Champion, Amazon Quest Champion, Booty Champion, Five Errors Champion, Mind Your Marbles Champion, Angel Fruit Champion, Binggrae Champion, Candy Shoot Champion, Imperial tiles Champion, Himalayaya - Yeti Strikes Back Champion, Terrorist Attack Champion, Americas Army Champion, Special Operations Champion, Destroy the robots Champion, Cubicle Warfare Champion, Battle Field Champion, Weapons Dealer Champion, Army Copter Champion, Flat War Champion, Terrorist Alert Champion, Bully Basher Champion, Reaktor Champion, Bungee Rescue Champion, The Contraptor Champion, Boris Champion, Carling Cold Champion, Paddleball Champion RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe's Avatar
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    Re: The 3 boys

    ^^ sure will do whats funny man?

    I'll do my best.. ^^ thx

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  8. #8
    Legendary Otaku divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment's Avatar
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    Re: The 3 boys

    The last stanza needs a little tweaking . . . The grammar isn't right and I think you can express it better. (By the way, "Horizone" isn't a word. There's no e at the end.)

    Other than that, a fantastic poem. I'm pretty sure I'm one of them . . . maybe Boy #3? Yeah . . . Good work, mate.

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