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Thread: A 3 year-Old's Wish

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    Otaku Basketball Champion Shippo101 has disabled reputation Shippo101's Avatar
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    A 3 year-Old's Wish

    I wish I could fly like the Jet planes over head.

    I wish I could run fast like my papa did from the foreign soldiers.

    I wish I could be as loud as the screams and Bangs outside my window at night.

    I wish the Jet planes would stop dropping explody metal tears.

    I wish mama didn’t cry because papa never stopped running.

    I wish the screams and bangs would leave my dreams alone for once.

    I wish that the Jet planes wouldn't take my family away with their skin burning tears.

    I wish the soldiers would go back home and bring papa back.

    I wish my ears couldn’t hear, because it hurts to hear mama scream.

    I wish the click bang would go away.

    I wish my eyes were blind like mama's.

    I wish my throat was dry like mama's.

    I wish they would’ve taken my spirit away instead of mamas.
    Last edited by Shippo101; Oct 09, 2009 at 10:11 PM.
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    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
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    Re: A 3 year-Old's Wish

    oh my word... this is quite profound isn't it? May I ask what inspired it. This piece seems like such an innocent, yet, horrifying written depiction of war.
    Last edited by Peach_follows; Oct 08, 2009 at 06:38 PM. Reason: like OMG.. now way!
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    Re: A 3 year-Old's Wish

    Dark and haunting. You love anaphor don't you. What other styles do you guys enjoy?

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    Newbie Japxican may be famous one day Japxican may be famous one day Japxican's Avatar
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    Re: A 3 year-Old's Wish

    It brought me into an innocent mind looking at the horror of war in the world around him/her. You use terminology that a child would use, which I think makes the poem have more of a ring.

    One thing I noted:
    "I wish my eyes wear blind like mama's."
    Do you mean to say "were" instead of "wear"?

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    Otaku Basketball Champion Shippo101 has disabled reputation Shippo101's Avatar
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    Re: A 3 year-Old's Wish

    Quote Originally Posted by Japxican View Post
    It brought me into an innocent mind looking at the horror of war in the world around him/her. You use terminology that a child would use, which I think makes the poem have more of a ring.

    One thing I noted:
    "I wish my eyes wear blind like mama's."
    Do you mean to say "were" instead of "wear"?
    Yeah, I just noticed that thanks. That was the idea tho. Anyone can write a poem lookin down on the kid but not many people can do it from thier eyes. For this I had to be in a childs mind set.
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