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Reply With Quoteoh my word... this is quite profound isn't it? May I ask what inspired it. This piece seems like such an innocent, yet, horrifying written depiction of war.
I wish I could fly like the Jet planes over head.
I wish I could run fast like my papa did from the foreign soldiers.
I wish I could be as loud as the screams and Bangs outside my window at night.
I wish the Jet planes would stop dropping explody metal tears.
I wish mama didn’t cry because papa never stopped running.
I wish the screams and bangs would leave my dreams alone for once.
I wish that the Jet planes wouldn't take my family away with their skin burning tears.
I wish the soldiers would go back home and bring papa back.
I wish my ears couldn’t hear, because it hurts to hear mama scream.
I wish the click bang would go away.
I wish my eyes were blind like mama's.
I wish my throat was dry like mama's.
I wish they would’ve taken my spirit away instead of mamas.
Last edited by Shippo101; Oct 09, 2009 at 10:11 PM.
Shippo is determined to become a lvl higherI'm a solider of Pen and Paper!<3 Atomik_Sprout <3
oh my word... this is quite profound isn't it? May I ask what inspired it. This piece seems like such an innocent, yet, horrifying written depiction of war.
Last edited by Peach_follows; Oct 08, 2009 at 06:38 PM. Reason: like OMG.. now way!
... Not Ever Again...
Dark and haunting. You love anaphor don't you. What other styles do you guys enjoy?
It brought me into an innocent mind looking at the horror of war in the world around him/her. You use terminology that a child would use, which I think makes the poem have more of a ring.
One thing I noted:
"I wish my eyes wear blind like mama's."
Do you mean to say "were" instead of "wear"?
Yeah, I just noticed that thanks. That was the idea tho. Anyone can write a poem lookin down on the kid but not many people can do it from thier eyes. For this I had to be in a childs mind set.Originally Posted by Japxican
Shippo is determined to become a lvl higherI'm a solider of Pen and Paper!
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