I don't think it sucks. It real good. That rejection part was so sad and then saying he was a neard, dissapointing. I was good though!^_^
(Act 1: Sight)
I was blown away just by her complextion,
her image gave me, my long desired sensation,
she moved with most majesty,
body like an teens deep down fantasy,
Jaw dropped, wanted her to talk to me,
She was enganged in a conversation not noticing me,
I think, now wasn't the time.
(Act 2: Approach)
I left my friends to be alone,
They all left for home,
And I'm here still staring, only to be finally be given a stare,
She Stared and smiled, Oh! she was so beautiul, somethign i couldn't bear,
She walked to me so elegantly,
She approches, and i stand looking big and mightly,
(Act 3: Conversation)
She comes alone, And says, "Hey you! What do go by?"
I studder only to end up saying, " I'm that guy"
She chuckles, "your funny, want to join us?"
I replay feeling more relaxed," Uhh.. sure but i have to go catch the 95 bus"
(Act 4: Rejection)
She says to her friends, " Oh well he was a nerd anyways"
I go back in anger, but her more muscular and larger friends block the way,
They say, "I dont think so"
I'm now on the 95 bus.... I still want her, but i have to let her go
Sorry if thsi poem sucks, i had no i dea what i was trying to imply here
I don't think it sucks. It real good. That rejection part was so sad and then saying he was a neard, dissapointing. I was good though!^_^
It was a very nice poem. It was good that you even after she rejected you that you still wanted to be with her.
"Sunset Kisses Along The Beach"
Made for me by HolderofTheDarkChalice
Thanks so much I love it!
Now that's something you don't see everyday! Nice wording, punctuation and only the last lines confused me...
"But her more strong....... bus"
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