7 Deadly Sins

One so deadly
In a group of seven.
Commit one of these
and you're not going to heaven.

Being so proud
can cause you grief.

Greed puts you in jail,
makes you a thief.

Envy can hurt so much
get too jealous and your out of luck.

Lust is undenyable
it makes love unreliable.

Anger is an evil spell,
makes you kill and sends you to hell.

Sloth, looks like a giant rat,
Consume too much of this sin and you'll just end up fat.

Gluttony is a selfish thing,
you'll find out when the debt bell rings.

One sin
is just one too many.
Be a good person,
and don't rely on any.

I enjoyed your poem.
I liked the technique you used in order to develope the image of each of the sins,
Also created a nice flow.
Good job n_n

most excellent. may i suggest making the stanzas a bit longer though. The seven deadly sins are a large topic, so perhaps a bigger workspace for each, you know?

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Originally Posted by NeoDeath90

most excellent. may i suggest making the stanzas a bit longer though. The seven deadly sins are a large topic, so perhaps a bigger workspace for each, you know?

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it is dont in a retarded kind of way
for those who dont really know what the "big words" mean so lol

Quote:

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Originally Posted by starfire1036

it is dont in a retarded kind of way
for those who dont really know what the "big words" mean so lol

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are you calling me retarded? check your english again because i cant tell if you're insulting me or explaining to me what your poem is about.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by NeoDeath90

are you calling me retarded? check your english again because i cant tell if you're insulting me or explaining to me what your poem is about.

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i am not... i wrote it in a simple way... because normally when i write in a complex way the people who read it cant really understand it... i never ment to insult you if i did. I wrote it simple to be more understandable.