+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 8 of 9

Thread: 9:18

  1. #1
    Ever So Awesome Kaboom Champion, Archery Champion, Crazy Pool 2 Champion, Ninja-Boy Champion, Bubble Shooter Champion zyta may be famous one day zyta may be famous one day zyta's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Arizona
    Posts
    898
    Thanks
    6
    Thanked 37 Times in 34 Posts

    9:18

    a freshj poem with no editing or anything done to it....pure, unlike my soul


    Tick-tock tick-tock
    Time flows by like a river
    Smoothly sailing onward
    On the surface of my body.
    Constantly itching and pestering

    The blood in my veins
    Carries the bomb of my soul
    Tick-tock tick-tock
    My life is forever suspended in time
    Awaiting the moment of praise

    Have you ever wondered why…
    In a dream you can touch a fallen sky?
    It is always cold, shivering with death
    That has gathered through all the millennia.
    Tick-tock tick-tock

    My time is up
    I feel it in my bones
    I feel it in my thoughts
    With the last of my energy I seek the clock.
    9:18 The last I see, tick-tock tick-tock

    Visit my blog: Rewriting Life

  2. #2
    Sorrow's Angel Shinigami's_Angel may be famous one day Shinigami's_Angel may be famous one day Shinigami's_Angel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Hidding Under The Covers hehe XD
    Posts
    688
    Thanks
    40
    Thanked 9 Times in 8 Posts

    Re: 9:18

    ...........Wow! That was such an awesome poem Zyta I liked it alot.I just loved how you wrote about your time comeing 2 an end.Awesome job.
    Made by- Ryomakurosaki (Thank you sooooo much!!) ^__^

  3. #3
    Devoted Otaku Nympho may be famous one day Nympho may be famous one day Nympho's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    I get bored easily
    Posts
    523
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 6 Times in 4 Posts

    Re: 9:18

    I would have liked it better without the tick tock. You could have said some thing like

    "the clock's antagonizingly breathes out resonance"

    or


    " Time's hand breaks thought"

    Or something not in complete direction of tick tock!

    But other than that...it was awesome!

    I'm a glass child. I am Hannah's regrets. Monster.

  4. #4
    Newbie Lost_Love may be famous one day Lost_Love may be famous one day Lost_Love's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    I don't live anywhere, the only place I can stay safe in is the head atop my shoulders
    Posts
    79
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: 9:18

    YAY!!!! GOOD JOB!!! BE PROUD!!! YOU ARE EXPRESSING YOUR FEELINGS IN THE BEST WAY!!!! lets be emo...
    there are no raindrops on roses but there are still tears in my eyes...

  5. #5
    Newbie civildragon may be famous one day civildragon may be famous one day civildragon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Mars
    Posts
    15
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: 9:18

    wow that was good one loll

  6. #6
    Ever So Awesome Kaboom Champion, Archery Champion, Crazy Pool 2 Champion, Ninja-Boy Champion, Bubble Shooter Champion zyta may be famous one day zyta may be famous one day zyta's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Arizona
    Posts
    898
    Thanks
    6
    Thanked 37 Times in 34 Posts

    Re: 9:18

    ...it was about me going to sleep, not dying >.>

    Visit my blog: Rewriting Life

  7. #7
    You's Trollin Pro Leafblower Champion, Helicopter Champion ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Posts
    4,293
    Thanks
    30
    Thanked 38 Times in 36 Posts

    Re: 9:18

    nice poem there, i like the tick tock intro.

  8. #8
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    2,736
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: 9:18

    Quote Originally Posted by Nympho
    I would have liked it better without the tick tock. You could have said some thing like

    "the clock's antagonizingly breathes out resonance"

    or


    " Time's hand breaks thought"

    Or something not in complete direction of tick tock!

    But other than that...it was awesome!
    I have to disagree. I like how she used an onomatopoeia.

    Though, the wording seems iffy in the poem. I'm not really sure, but something doesnt feel wuite right with the poem.
    Seduced by Flesh


+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts