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Thread: Abigail

  1. #1
    Chtonian Slayer Astaroth may be famous one day Astaroth's Avatar
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    Abigail

    Abigail is aching
    Abigail is praying
    Abigail is crying
    Abigail is dying
    Abigail is shaking
    Abigail is naked
    Huddled in the shower
    Counting down the hours

    Abigail is breaking
    Abigail can't take it
    Abigail is screaming
    But she can't make a sound
    Abigail stops breathing
    Now there is no feeling
    Teardrops on the tile
    Frozen in her smile

    Michael is her miracle
    Six weeks old and beautiful
    Growing in his mother
    Till he was ripped from her
    Seventeen and broken
    Filled with shame unspoken
    Son, your mother loved you
    Can you forgive her sin?

    She can't live without you
    Now she's coming home to you
    Crimson drops release her
    Lord, will you receive her?
    Save her from her misery
    The coward that she used to be
    Give her back her angel
    Let the light back in
    DO NOT MAKE ME UNLEASH MY INNER DEMON

  2. #2
    Otaku crazy canadin emo kid is off to a good start crazy canadin emo kid's Avatar
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    Re: Abigail

    its good it rimes alot too and some times thats good i love caz it sounds like my firend and all thare stuff

    hummm....all and all its good i wood like to read more
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    Newbie dustin scott is off to a good start dustin scott's Avatar
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    Talking Re: Abigail

    it threw me off a little at first but i quickly caught back on and understood the poem. it's very deep and heartfelt and i can tell that the person you wrote this for is going through a hard time just through your wording of this poem. i think the feelings you tied to the words in this poem are very effective which makes this poem very well written in my eyes. i'm not big into writing poetry but this is good. i hope your friend feels better and i know eventually she'll be with her baby again. two thumbs up
    Last edited by gren; Feb 26, 2008 at 06:34 PM. Reason: removed quoted poem
    It seems to me,that if you or i must choose between two courses of thought or action, we should remember our dying, and try so to live, that our death brings no pleasure on the world.
    - jhon steinbeck

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    Astaroth (Feb 21, 2008)

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    Mathematical!! Bugz Champion, Ant Bully Champion, Chainsaw the childern Champion, 3D Net Blazer Champion, Cricket Challenge Champion, Big Uglies Champion, Body Check Champion, Desktop Fishing Champion, All Star Skate Park Champion, Chuckie Egg Champion, Birdy Champion, Anthrax Jelly Champion, Air Typer Champion, Word Pads Champion, Crash Test Dummy Curling Champion, The Mini Jump Game Champion, Chairlift Challenge Champion, Astroboy vs One Bad Storm Champion, Fight Man Champion, Blot In Hell Champion, Beeku Adventure Champion, Connect2 Champion, Atomica Champion, Cannonball Follies 2 Champion, Bada Boing Champion, BeachDefence Champion, Alkie Kong 2 Champion atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout's Avatar
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    Re: Abigail

    Very nice, Astaroth! I read this and couldn't stop until I reached the end! In fact, I read it twice, I liked it that much! You did a great job of telling a story in riddle, your rhyming was good and the title is what just sucked me in. Kudos!


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    Astaroth (Feb 25, 2008)

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    Hell Enforcer George Wants Beer Champion, Monkey Cliff Diving Champion, Tilt 2 Champion hellknight may be famous one day hellknight may be famous one day hellknight's Avatar
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    Re: Abigail

    O M G!!!!, this is the best poem I have ever read, wish I was this good lol, keep it up Asta, and I don't think my poems are good as yours. good luck! ^_^

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    Astaroth (Feb 26, 2008)

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    Re: Abigail

    depressing but still good... It is unfortunaye that it has to be so dark at the dame time. The way that you have it set up could easily turn into song if the phrases were lengthened a little.

    ... and join my rebellion against time.

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