tonight the sky will bleed
if only to fill your need
tomorrow your children will cry
never thought you could die?
your soul caught in addictions grasp
when death comes will you gasp?
will you fight
protect your rights
the unhealthy life
this problem of your casued much strife
you've lost your humanity
sanity, who needs it?
tonight the sky with bleed
to form the addictee's creed
so next time you light up a joint
think again, just what's the point?
Whoa, that came from my mind... it's kind of odd knowing that you can make something that people will like...
Nice peom, the rhymes were pretty kool.
The rhymes seemed forced. I'd prefer if it didnt rhyme.
I agree with Kasai, the rhymes did seem forced, but in my personal opinion the theme of the poem was good, and I don't want to sound to harsh but maybe it should've been a free verse poem! (just a suggestion) Keep up the good work and I'm looking forward to more of your work!
i'am kind of lost with your poem but i understand it has something to do with the gothic period, or is it? it's sounded link the art poems back in the period of gothic art. AM so REpeatin myself.
the rhyms are nice. it's one of thepoets templates i kind of like it even though you kind of overused it. next time use it wisely. over all 8/10.