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Thread: After taste

  1. #1
    Banned Pyramid Gold Champion, Triathlon Champion, Panik: Pogomania Champion Little negi sensei is off to a good start
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    Lightbulb After taste

    Im sick
    From the bitter
    After taste of your kiss
    It used to be so sweet
    And always seemed to be in reach
    But ever since that day
    When we started to drift
    The day when you stoped caring
    and i stoped believeing
    All that i can taste
    Is the bitterness
    From the last time we kissed
    __________________________
    Its not very good i know.Its just of the top of my head.

  2. #2
    §-Breakdown-§ Breakout Champion, Bubble Popper Champion Akura13 may be famous one day Akura13's Avatar
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    Re: After taste

    Well I loved it! It has good describing and emotions! I loved it good job chomo!^^



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    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
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    Re: After taste

    Funny, I seem to suffer from a simular after taste. Its as if we were drinking different sodas of the same brand.
    ... Not Ever Again...

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    Newbie fujesal is off to a good start fujesal's Avatar
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    Re: After taste

    Quote Originally Posted by Akura13 View Post
    Well I loved it! It has good describing and emotions! I loved it good job chomo!^^
    Chomo??
    ---------------------------
    nice poem I liked it
    but if there is one hting I learned from english class is that placement matters, also try to find rythme
    "act the way you want to be and soon you'll be the way you act"

  5. #5
    Banned Pyramid Gold Champion, Triathlon Champion, Panik: Pogomania Champion Little negi sensei is off to a good start
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    Re: After taste

    Thx you all.And fujesal i try not to have a rythem b/c sometimes it messes with the poem's meaning.Or makes it seem less serious.

    And yes.Chomo is my nickname.

  6. #6
    Newbie fujesal is off to a good start fujesal's Avatar
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    Re: After taste

    oooooooooooooo nice trick
    I'll try to remember that =P
    maybe you can give me a little more examples of your trick by writing more =D

    bii!!
    "act the way you want to be and soon you'll be the way you act"

  7. #7
    Otaku ILikeApples5520 is off to a good start ILikeApples5520's Avatar
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    Re: After taste

    The lack of rhythm in this poem was definitely unique.

    But the meaning really stood out more without the rhythm.

    Nice job negi!


    Thanks to _gwenibe_ for this awesome sig!

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