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Thread: Agony Poems

  1. #1
    Otaku Stickicide 2 Champion starfire1036 is making a name for themselves starfire1036 is making a name for themselves starfire1036's Avatar
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    Agony Poems

    I will post something that
    many might not view as agonizing but in my mind would be unmistakable
    unbearable agony. If you do not understand why I find this agonizing then I
    suppose my poetry skills are not up to par as I had previously thought. [p.s.
    some of my keys are busted so I might not notice a spelling error.]


    New poem [untitled]

    The way she looks
    I just can't help but stare
    When she looks at me
    It is as thought I am not there

    It is as if I am invisible
    not living or breathing
    like a ghost
    or anything other than a human being

    I feel for her
    an intense burning flame
    but in my heart I know
    she will never feel the same

    She brushes me off
    with an "I'm busy" or "I've got to go, good-bye"
    which is just enough
    to make me break down and cry.

    I will forever want
    what I can never have
    living in an incomplete life
    lonely and sad.



    Older poem here titled [If Only]

    If only I knew you cared,
    I could smile forever.
    If only you knew that I love you,
    you would be able to live forever.

    If only I'd have told you to stay
    I would have made things right again.
    If only I hadn't let you walk away
    you would be laying next to me in our bed.

    If only I'd never gone to that bar,
    I'd still feel you near
    If only I'd never gotten in that car,
    maybe you'd still be here.

    If only you hadn't died
    I wouldn't feel so lonley.
    If only I hadn't killed you,
    I would't be hurting inside this badly.

    If only we had never met,
    you'd be happy.
    If only you didnt know me
    If only...

    Last edited by starfire1036; Apr 03, 2010 at 06:59 PM.

  2. #2
    Banned beast may be famous one day beast may be famous one day beast's Avatar
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    re: Agony Poems

    A great poem about love being lost without any one really noticing. The way you write about women shows you are comfortable in your own skin, which you should be.

  3. #3
    Newbie kingmustang is off to a good start kingmustang's Avatar
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    Re: Agony Poems

    As a writer I think that one of the hardest things to do is to get the reader to feel the emotion that you are trying to portray or that you felt when you wrote it. You nailed that!
    Sword in hand, fire in heart, I walk towards my future just playing my part.
    The school of the undefeated East! The winds of the king! Zenshin! Keiretsu! Tempa! Kyoran! Look! The East is burning red!” (G Gundam)
    Ride Fast, Live Free & Stay strong.

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    Otaku Stickicide 2 Champion starfire1036 is making a name for themselves starfire1036 is making a name for themselves starfire1036's Avatar
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    Re: Agony Poems

    well It's hard for me to write good poetry like this anymore because I am extremely happy not that that's a bad thing haha. all my poems are written from emootions i have felt

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    Re: Agony Poems

    Quote Originally Posted by starfire1036 View Post
    well It's hard for me to write good poetry like this anymore because I am extremely happy not that that's a bad thing haha. all my poems are written from emootions i have felt
    Well then I am both happy and sad for you, happy that you are, well for lack of a better word, happy and sad that you ever had to go through any thing even remotely similar to what you wrote.
    Sword in hand, fire in heart, I walk towards my future just playing my part.
    The school of the undefeated East! The winds of the king! Zenshin! Keiretsu! Tempa! Kyoran! Look! The East is burning red!” (G Gundam)
    Ride Fast, Live Free & Stay strong.

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