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Thread: All is gone...

  1. #1
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    All is gone...

    Ok, agian few words banged my head like thunder and a new poem was created!

    All my hopes
    Torn to pieces
    All my dreams
    Burned to ashes

    All the pain
    Endured for nothing
    All the fear
    Now meaning something

    All the feelings
    Mixed together
    All these thoughts
    Hard to gather

    All the good
    Now lost forever
    All the bad
    As obvious as ever

    You embodied my hopes
    And now you’re gone
    You held my dreams
    And now I’m so lonely...

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

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    Mathematical!! Bugz Champion, Ant Bully Champion, Chainsaw the childern Champion, 3D Net Blazer Champion, Cricket Challenge Champion, Big Uglies Champion, Body Check Champion, Desktop Fishing Champion, All Star Skate Park Champion, Chuckie Egg Champion, Birdy Champion, Anthrax Jelly Champion, Air Typer Champion, Word Pads Champion, Crash Test Dummy Curling Champion, The Mini Jump Game Champion, Chairlift Challenge Champion, Astroboy vs One Bad Storm Champion, Fight Man Champion, Blot In Hell Champion, Beeku Adventure Champion, Connect2 Champion, Atomica Champion, Cannonball Follies 2 Champion, Bada Boing Champion, BeachDefence Champion, Alkie Kong 2 Champion atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout's Avatar
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    Re: All is gone...

    I this one alot. It's deep... Makes one think. "Hmm..."


  3. #3
    「Someone」 Goo Slasher Champion, Fish Kill Champion, Rapid Motion Champion, Cell-Out Champion, Sober Santa 2 Champion, Flower Girl Champion KuwiRules145 is off to a good start KuwiRules145's Avatar
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    Re: All is gone...

    What an amazing awesome deep poem!!! Your an amazing writer! I hope to see more.
    「When I'm sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead」

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    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: All is gone...

    Thank You Sprout, Kuwi and Chi! I'm glad You all liked it and felt like it's deep... If it made You think than it must be quite Ok.

    But what do you think about the ending, the last stranza? I read it again and understood that I just hate it... What do You think? I think it breakes the rythm and makes no sence at all...

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

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    Otaku xxoxx is off to a good start xxoxx's Avatar
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    Re: All is gone...

    oh wow ..i love it ..it's very deep and i feelit's very sad one you writed
    but is very nice...
    keep up ..

    Foolish beating

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    Banned The White Wolf is off to a good start
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    Re: All is gone...

    It's a great poem, but are you trying to go for a rhyming scheme? If so, it didn't flow too well with me. The last stanza? It sounds as though you fell in love with someone, they ripped open your chest, tore your heart out and left you to die. That is what I get from the last stanza.

    Great poem, keep up the great work.

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    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: All is gone...

    Quote Originally Posted by The White Wolf View Post
    It's a great poem, but are you trying to go for a rhyming scheme? If so, it didn't flow too well with me. The last stanza? It sounds as though you fell in love with someone, they ripped open your chest, tore your heart out and left you to die. That is what I get from the last stanza.

    Great poem, keep up the great work.
    Thank You White Wolf for the expansive valuation of my poem... Yeah... it gets out of rythm in some places and yes, that is what I tried to say in the last stranza, verry nice to hear that can be understood.

    Thank You again!

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

  8. #8
    Otaku Shermanator may be famous one day Shermanator may be famous one day
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    Re: All is gone...

    it was a good poem...although i used to write them all the time...i can never seem to get a poem going....it always turns into a damn song...i dont know...its weird. >.<

    In every world, the God’s always make the rules. You will fall before my fake rules, and for the sin of going against the new world’s God, die.

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