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Thread: Alone in the night

  1. #1
    Newbie man of lost soul may be famous one day man of lost soul may be famous one day man of lost soul's Avatar
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    Alone in the night

    I walk alone in the night thare is no fear.
    I walk alone in the night no one els is here.
    Peaple say to be alone in wrong .
    But when u have nothing to offer whare do u belong.
    I walk alone in the night by choice not by fate.
    My mind and soul fill with hate.
    I walk alone in the night all is out of reach and sight.
    peaple ask why do i stay alive.
    Becose in the night i fight to servive.
    if im ment to live then live i shall.
    but live be my will and mine alone.
    I walk alone in the night every one els can go to hell.

  2. #2
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Re: Alone in the night

    A few spelling errors, and okay capitalization. I'm not sure I like the rhyming eeffect in this poem.
    Seduced by Flesh


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    Lost In My Own World Fishing the Sea Champion, LastTank Standing Champion Ky-lyrra may be famous one day Ky-lyrra may be famous one day Ky-lyrra's Avatar
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    Re: Alone in the night

    Quote Originally Posted by man of lost soul View Post
    I walk alone in the night thare is no fear.
    I walk alone in the night no one els is here.
    Peaple say to be alone in wrong .
    But when u have nothing to offer whare do u belong.
    I walk alone in the night by choice not by fate.
    My mind and soul fill with hate.
    I walk alone in the night all is out of reach and sight.
    peaple ask why do i stay alive.
    Becose in the night i fight to servive.
    if im ment to live then live i shall.
    but live be my will and mine alone.
    I walk alone in the night every one els can go to hell.


    els=else
    Peaple=People
    u=you
    peaple=People
    Becose=Because
    servive=survive
    im=I'm
    i=I
    els=else


    There I gave you some spelling corrections.

    As for the poem I did not really like it. The rhyming is forced and one part of the poem kinda made me mad like...

    I walk alone in the night every one els can go to hell.
    Why would you say something like that? Part of your poem rhymes but then it stops. Not good to start something and not finish it.

    don't abbriviate your words either
    ™Mommy To Micah And Shawn!™


    Thanks For The Amazing Tag Pyro!

  4. #4
    Hell Enforcer George Wants Beer Champion, Monkey Cliff Diving Champion, Tilt 2 Champion hellknight may be famous one day hellknight may be famous one day hellknight's Avatar
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    Re: Alone in the night

    its okay but too much aggressive way, the end part is like way too much in it, other than that its pretty hope you do better on the next poem

  5. #5
    Newbie man of lost soul may be famous one day man of lost soul may be famous one day man of lost soul's Avatar
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    Re: Alone in the night

    yes yes i Know the spelling suck.I can tell storys
    but when it come to writing i have just never been that good.

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