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Thread: Already drown.

  1. #1
    Devoted Otaku bratling may be famous one day bratling's Avatar
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    Already drown.

    The taste of your lips lingers on my lips.
    But all it does is make me sick!
    It used to make my poor heart melt,
    Make my knees go weak.
    But now that I realize and now that,
    I can clearly see.
    You lies were the death of me.
    Choking drowning sputtering,
    Snuffing out the stars in my eyes.
    Sinking down further.
    Into your sea of unending lies.
    Lost and adrift in your little,
    Leaky row boat.
    Can you see the shores of truth?
    Because I think you possibly could.
    Because what I see is that you,
    Are already drowned in your own lies.
    ---------------------------------
    Not the normal subject.(person, not topic.)

  2. #2
    Otaku Dune Bashing In Dubai Champion, Yetisports 10 - Icicle Climb Champion, Yeti Bubbles Champion overload is off to a good start overload's Avatar
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    Re: Already drown.

    OMG!!! what was that?
    I can see that you are a great poet in your depression,
    so all the power to you and keep writing more.
    truly this poem should be in all the poem books in the world.

  3. #3
    Devoted Otaku bratling may be famous one day bratling's Avatar
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    Re: Already drown.

    Wow. I'm honored that you think so highly of my writing. I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it so much. THanks for the ego boost!

  4. #4
    Mathematical!! Bugz Champion, Ant Bully Champion, Chainsaw the childern Champion, 3D Net Blazer Champion, Cricket Challenge Champion, Big Uglies Champion, Body Check Champion, Desktop Fishing Champion, All Star Skate Park Champion, Chuckie Egg Champion, Birdy Champion, Anthrax Jelly Champion, Air Typer Champion, Word Pads Champion, Crash Test Dummy Curling Champion, The Mini Jump Game Champion, Chairlift Challenge Champion, Astroboy vs One Bad Storm Champion, Fight Man Champion, Blot In Hell Champion, Beeku Adventure Champion, Connect2 Champion, Atomica Champion, Cannonball Follies 2 Champion, Bada Boing Champion, BeachDefence Champion, Alkie Kong 2 Champion atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout's Avatar
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    Re: Already drown.

    This poem was confusing, yet tasty at the same time. ^_^

    Mmm... Tasty. LOL. On a serious note, Chan, I liked it a lot. It kinda makes me wonder what gave you the inspiration to write this. You gonna write more today?


  5. #5
    Legendary Otaku divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment's Avatar
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    Re: Already drown.

    Quote Originally Posted by bratling View Post
    The taste of your lips lingers on my lips.
    But all it does is make me sick!
    It used to make my poor heart melt,
    Make my knees go weak.
    But now that I realize and now that,
    I can clearly see.
    You lies were the death of me.
    Choking drowning sputtering,
    Snuffing out the stars in my eyes.
    Sinking down further.
    Into your sea of unending lies.
    Lost and adrift in your little,
    Leaky row boat.
    Can you see the shores of truth?
    Because I think you possibly could.
    Because what I see is that you,
    Are already drowned in your own lies.
    ---------------------------------
    Not the normal subject.(person, not topic.)
    A few problems with the grammar, but overall it was a very good poem.

  6. #6
    Rawr~ :3 Boxteroid Champion, flyplane Champion, Home Run Champion, Bubbelfutsch Champion, Fire Fighter Champion, Brendans Soccer Champion, Movie Star Match-Up Champion, Total blackout Champion, Text Your Reflexes Champion, Scary movie Champion, Hulk Smash Up Champion, Star Wars Champion, Extreme Snowboarding Champion, Air Disc Champion, Action Fish Champion, A Game Of 3 Halves Champion, Battleball Champion, Hacky Sack Champion, FAD 2003 Champion, SQRL Golf Champion, Dr Yeckyl and Mr Ride Champion, Sky Glide Champion, Flyer Champion, Finnair Champion, Drachenjagd Champion, Canyon Glider Champion, City Surfing Champion, Action Driving Game Champion, Extreme Rowing Champion, Kardahdg Champion, Acceleracers Track Mod Champion, Final Test Champion, Du Wichtel Champion, Pedal Power Champion, Camera Killer 2 Champion, Bike Mania on ICE Champion, ATV Winter Challenge Champion, Caliber Dash Champion, Diesel and Death Champion, Snow Ride Champion, Camera Killer Champion, Pepsi Jet Ski Champion, Bumper Cars Championship Champion, Drifting Champion, Get A Grip Champion, Rooney on the Rampage Champion, Death To Ninja Champion, Kung Fu Hustle 2 Champion, Muay Thai Champion, Metal Arm FAWEGE Champion, Knife Champion, Classroom Fighter Champion, Nobuyuki Forces 3 Champion, Caddeva Champion, Sewer Dweller Champion, Angel Mart Champion, Snowy Champion, Bola Champion, Boiler Room Champion, Bobcat Champion, Amazon Quest Champion, Booty Champion, Five Errors Champion, Mind Your Marbles Champion, Angel Fruit Champion, Binggrae Champion, Candy Shoot Champion, Imperial tiles Champion, Himalayaya - Yeti Strikes Back Champion, Terrorist Attack Champion, Americas Army Champion, Special Operations Champion, Destroy the robots Champion, Cubicle Warfare Champion, Battle Field Champion, Weapons Dealer Champion, Army Copter Champion, Flat War Champion, Terrorist Alert Champion, Bully Basher Champion, Reaktor Champion, Bungee Rescue Champion, The Contraptor Champion, Boris Champion, Carling Cold Champion, Paddleball Champion RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe's Avatar
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    Re: Already drown.

    *salutes* good poem.. nice imagination again... @.@ good job.. kudos to u ... and i agree with divine punishment ^^

    Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!!
    I'm BACK AO!
    >>>facebook<<<

  7. #7
    Devoted Otaku bratling may be famous one day bratling's Avatar
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    Re: Already drown.

    Sprout- I might... sleep deprivation tends to do me good in this department. I should sleep less often I think.

    Divine punishment- Thanka you. I'm glad you enjoy it, especially cus tho I don't believe I've posted on your posts or anything, I rather appriciate what I've seen of your posts thus far. And I know the grammar wasn't the best. I tend to let it go a little when I'm writing over tired. Because it's a bit much to write and get my feelings out, when I have to worry about grammar and spelling. Spellin is my worst suit. As I'm sure you've noticed.

    Rayme- THanks! I appriciate the comments from you a lot. They made me smile this morning.

  8. #8
    Otaku chrystalann2004 is off to a good start chrystalann2004's Avatar
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    Re: Already drown.

    wow this good you have one hell of nack for
    writing keep the coming the title say eveything
    keep up the good work

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