Always you would stay
That is what you use 2 say
Who knew that always would end today
I can remember it like it was yesterday
When you went on in your own way
Just like that we seperated like hallways
I guess you felt that I would be okay
But I am here 2 tell you I'm in no kind of shape
I do feel boxed in with old love with new hate
And this feel'n I can't shake
No matter how much I try
I still end up on the same side
My heart stop beat'n but I am still alive
Feel'n like I had already died
Not 1nce but 2 times
Final Destination 3 but my death was on an emotional roller coaster ride
Couldn't get off so I couldn't survive
I crashed & burned I might of took my own life
My fault my cost so I paid the price
Got my merchandise I bought
Feel'n trapped so I'm feel'n caught
Try'n 2 escape from this grasp you have on me
Try'n 2 keep strong, but I'm feel'n weak
Ridin' by my lonesome, so you know the journey is lonely
Gett'n a heart-ache everytime I hear "We Ride" by MJB
Always think'n that was you & me
Was being the key word that unlocks the door full of hurt
That I just call "Hurtfully"
I ain't lying just speak'n truthfully
Tell'n myself everything is in the past
So just let it be
Always ain't Forever now I see
It is just another term in the dictionary
I realized you can't take shit lightly
And you also can't mourn on it too heavily
Giving up so easily was never easy
Gone in the wind now I just feel the breeze
Lett'n you go slowly, but it ain't with ease
These words cross'n my mind "Always you would stay"
That is what you use 2 say
Who knew that always would end today
Feel'n like a kid cause I just got played
Ever since you walked away
I guess it was too much pressure cause didn't we cave..?
Well like 1 I am hollow & empty
Finalizing our never ending story on a Trinity
Got me believe'n always ain't forever nor an eternity
It is just a say'n that gets you closer to being finally....
The heart can't lie... Truth is... I love you!!!
It just so happened that I read your poem while listening to a rap song downstairs xD So I really got the beat and everything.
I really enjoyed it. Tho stanzas would make it easier to read. I don't usually like reading short forms, but the Tell'n sorta words suited with the poem. Tho I must say that the other short forms was a bit difficult to read at times. Great job tho.You could really turn out to be some sort of rapper =p
There has been a difference into relating someone but i have not noticed anything that may relate me with anyone.
hmm, try to avoid short cutting terms in a poem.
its really kinda confusing to read sometimes..
i can fully relate to your poem.
It happened to me and broke my heart in pieces.
but i'm glad someone had the courage to pick
it up and glued it back again.. hahahaha
anyway, it was worth reading.. i like it!... =)
If you don't like me, it's mind over matter.
I don't mind and you don't matter
Meh, the big block of words isn't working well, same with the total disregard for everything you English teacher taught you.
It's got some potential in it though, revise it maybe and try to work it in stanza format... and fix the grammar and spelling. Also... ain't is not a word.
the love you withhold is the pain you carry.
Thanks 4 the comment & your honesty... I just like to write how I feel at times... I can't say I am a rapper though... I'm not a real poet though, but I try... If you have tips or suggestions I am all ears... All it can do is make me better... RIGHT!!!Originally Posted by elie26
It just so happened that I read your poem while listening to a rap song downstairs xD So I really got the beat and everything.
I really enjoyed it. Tho stanzas would make it easier to read. I don't usually like reading short forms, but the Tell'n sorta words suited with the poem. Tho I must say that the other short forms was a bit difficult to read at times. Great job tho.
Honesty is good to hear... My English teacher probably would have something to say on how I wrote it, but it wasn't meant to be in any grammar book... I just started writing in my notebook on how I felt at the time... And I'm not too good at stanza format, but I'll try next time... O' and I know "ain't" isn't a word I just use too much when I talk... But I am glad you know that...
I am glad that I'm gett'n feedback on what I wrote... It is also good that I am not the only 1... Thanks for the honesty... I'll try to do better next time...
Sorry that u can't relate... But not that sorry cause u wouldn't want to go through any of that type pain... It do sounds like u have pain though but not in the form I wrote... Maybe I'll write something next time that u can relate cause I know "pain"... Maybe I am wrong though... But look out for me though just in case...
Last edited by SasuraiHell; Apr 15, 2007 at 07:08 PM. Reason: hly hell!
The heart can't lie... Truth is... I love you!!!
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