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Thread: Angel

  1. #1
    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
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    Angel

    ANGEL

    The angel has lost her grace,
    as tears stream down her face.
    She forgets love, remembers hate.
    This angel no longer has faith*

    With tear stained cheeks,
    through blood shot eyes,
    She now sees things for that they are
    Once beautifully flawless, now tainted in scars

    As the blue sky fades to black,
    Her wings begin to vanish from her back,
    Her heart turns dark and cold
    She no longer believes what she is told

    Acceptance of good, the sincere smiles are gone;
    Her promise to God has now been withdrawn.
    She no longer cares; the pleasantries have faded,
    now a fallen angel, her hearts forever jaded.

    She’ll never be the same, the beginning to her end
    No longer an angel* no reason to pretend...
    Living life with tear stained cheeks,
    seeing through blood shot eyes.






    *Note: This IS NOT MY WORK. It is the work of my beautiful older sister "GEM". She sent it to me in an e-mail looking for feedback. So I posted it here to see if any of you all could offer some. Besides, in reading it, I found I could very much relate. Perhaps her and I both suffer from a genetic curse. (lost faith in love). But, if we never have to fall out of love again, then maybe it's a blessing.
    ... Not Ever Again...

  2. #2
    Otaku Robo Soccer Champion, Gorillaz Groove Session Champion blackrose92 is off to a good start blackrose92's Avatar
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    Re: Angel

    i liked the poem, it wasnt the typical sob story of love related poems that ive seen on AO so tell your sis that it was good poem and what was better is that she added a rhyme in it her and there. But the only thing that i really would suggest is that she add more details, explaining how "she'll never be the same" and how her "promise is withdrawn" but other than that it was a good poem.
    I'm the best you'll ever have because i am that f*ing AMA-zing chic who can stand on her own d*n feet and becasue of you I am the Greatest Thank you so much SasuraiHell and Gwen

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to blackrose92 For This Useful Post:

    Peach_follows (Oct 22, 2008)

  4. #3
    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
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    Re: Angel

    Thank you so much for taking the time to give feedback. I am sure she will be happy for the advice. I will pass it on. Thanks again.
    ... Not Ever Again...

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    Otaku DemonicKagomeTahoshi is off to a good start DemonicKagomeTahoshi's Avatar
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    Re: Angel

    Quote Originally Posted by blackrose92 View Post
    i liked the poem, it wasnt the typical sob story of love related poems that ive seen on AO so tell your sis that it was good poem and what was better is that she added a rhyme in it her and there. But the only thing that i really would suggest is that she add more details, explaining how "she'll never be the same" and how her "promise is withdrawn" but other than that it was a good poem.
    I agree, i also write poems, and sometimes on AO, there are to many love dovey sad poems, so this one was a good change, and it was great. tell you sister to keep up the good work

  6. #5
    The Listener Stealin` Home Champion awesomeparty12 may be famous one day awesomeparty12's Avatar
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    Re: Angel

    as always Peach_follows you amaze me agian with another well made poem i bow to your poems as they always have had great meaning and good inspiration thanks for thepoems you are the best
    i cry inside for life anew i die each time im torn in two i live for earth and die for none along comes a god who will always bring peace and tranquility

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    Fallen Angel of Darkness mangalovertje may be famous one day mangalovertje may be famous one day mangalovertje's Avatar
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    Re: Angel

    I really love your poem..
    Cause I can place myself in it..
    It's so beautiful..
    Really how she can write it like that..

    Bye Bye...

    We are affraid of losing controle...But why should you be affraid of losing it...While you didnt have it...

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    Newbie SelfTorment is off to a good start SelfTorment's Avatar
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    Re: Angel

    I really like this poem. I give you sister credit she made a very nice poem.
    I like the way it flows. I wish I could have found it sooner. So i'm doing a project in english can you ask your sister if its ok to use this poem for my project? If not it ok I understand.

  9. #8
    Grouchy Old Anime Otaku LenMiyata has become well known LenMiyata has become well known LenMiyata has become well known LenMiyata's Avatar
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    Re: Angel

    Grumble Grumble Grumble

    To quote the Forum Rules...
    Inactive threads, which have not been posted in for 1 month or more, should not be revived. They are considered dead.
    Please read the Forum Rules located here... Anime Online - FAQ: GENERAL RULES:

    Closing...
    FAVOURITE THREADS EXPLAIN why, or risk an infraction.
    Rantings of a Grouchy Old Anime Otaku

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