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Thread: Anger

  1. #1
    §-Breakdown-§ Breakout Champion, Bubble Popper Champion Akura13 may be famous one day Akura13's Avatar
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    Anger

    Anger is what grows inside of me.
    It comes up every time I see your face.
    Your face reminds me of the betreyal you caused.
    Now everytime I see you, I can feel it.
    The anger that boils inside of me.
    And everyday I wish for your face
    To dissapear from my angry mind.

    Every day it grows bigger and bigger.
    The anger that's inside of me.
    One day I know I will finally lose it.
    But until then it grows.
    The anger inside of me.

  2. #2
    Otaku xxoxx is off to a good start xxoxx's Avatar
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    Re: Anger

    This poem have much over anger that i feel it ...
    but the way you writed i love it ..It 's nice and hope you will not be angry like that...I love it ...hope to see more Akura...

    Foolish beating

  3. #3
    is On Point Abu Dhabi is making a name for themselves Abu Dhabi is making a name for themselves Abu Dhabi's Avatar
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    Re: Anger

    i liked the raw emotion you had in this poem! anger can be a very powerful thing.

    however, i think if you added more imagery it would better describe your feelings to other people. you already mentioned your head and his face, i think if you talked about the rest of the body (what his hands did, what his mouth did etc) it would better show that your anger is all-consuming...

    also, the shape of your poem and how you divide it can also lend to its meaning...

    what do i mean? instead of having the standard poem for:

    ------
    -------------
    -----
    ---------
    -----------
    ------

    you could try like this:

    ---
    -----
    -----------
    ---------------
    --------------------
    -------------------------

    possibly, this could show how much your anger grows... you don't really need to worry about things like rhythm and such becuz anger doesn't have control like that...

    ^o^ good work though! i hope this helps you to better express your feelings!

  4. #4
    §-Breakdown-§ Breakout Champion, Bubble Popper Champion Akura13 may be famous one day Akura13's Avatar
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    Re: Anger

    Quote Originally Posted by Abu Dhabi View Post
    i liked the raw emotion you had in this poem! anger can be a very powerful thing.

    however, i think if you added more imagery it would better describe your feelings to other people. you already mentioned your head and his face, i think if you talked about the rest of the body (what his hands did, what his mouth did etc) it would better show that your anger is all-consuming...

    also, the shape of your poem and how you divide it can also lend to its meaning...

    what do i mean? instead of having the standard poem for:

    ------
    -------------
    -----
    ---------
    -----------
    ------

    you could try like this:

    ---
    -----
    -----------
    ---------------
    --------------------
    -------------------------

    possibly, this could show how much your anger grows... you don't really need to worry about things like rhythm and such becuz anger doesn't have control like that...

    ^o^ good work though! i hope this helps you to better express your feelings!
    Why thank you very much Abu Dhabi! I made some new poems and I shall remember to try that!

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    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: Anger

    I like this one... Angry indeed... You deffinetely are angry at someone, thank you for reminding me what anger is ^^

    A good work Akura, enjoyed reading this...

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

  6. #6
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    Re: Anger

    your best bet for anger is to
    put in words like you have here
    dont hold it in because that makes
    it worse.

    yes your angry now but the anger
    subsides and things go back to
    normal it may it at you for what
    happend but it does get better.

    very cool poem
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  7. #7
    §-Breakdown-§ Breakout Champion, Bubble Popper Champion Akura13 may be famous one day Akura13's Avatar
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    Re: Anger

    Thank you all! I'm so glad that you like my poem! You all rock! Thanks again! Rock on, peace out, and holla!!



    Phantasmagoria Lives On In The Hearts Of Their Fans, Japanese AND English!
    "Because it's okay to hide your tears." - LM.C (Lovely Mocochang)

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