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Thread: The assassin

  1. #1
    Elie Jelly elie26 may be famous one day elie26 may be famous one day elie26's Avatar
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    The assassin

    The assassin

    Preparations
    Gripping the double edged knife
    His fingers skim across the tip

    Blood gushes out.

    The beginning
    Footsteps, scurrying around
    As he approaches from afar

    Like ants on fire.

    Unseen, unheard
    His movements swift
    No sound is heard

    A ghost.

    Endings
    The victim enters a corner
    Face to face with a dead end

    Caught in a cage.

    The deed
    He stabs into the victim
    A pool of blood swirls beneath

    Lost hope.

    Realization
    Staring at himself in the puddle
    He freezes over and stops

    What am I now?

    Monster
    Drowning in his guilt and pity
    Lost in the pit of darkness

    He doesn’t resurface.

    I know this is horrible, perhaps a waste of space, I dunno. Confusing and awful. Yeah .. still like to hear some critic tho ._.

  2. #2
    Otaku Dune Bashing In Dubai Champion, Yetisports 10 - Icicle Climb Champion, Yeti Bubbles Champion overload is off to a good start overload's Avatar
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    Re: The assassin

    Well let me put it this way,
    you have captured the very soul of an assassin in this poem.
    I like to read more of your work, and I really like it.*honest opinion*

  3. #3
    Rawr~ :3 Boxteroid Champion, flyplane Champion, Home Run Champion, Bubbelfutsch Champion, Fire Fighter Champion, Brendans Soccer Champion, Movie Star Match-Up Champion, Total blackout Champion, Text Your Reflexes Champion, Scary movie Champion, Hulk Smash Up Champion, Star Wars Champion, Extreme Snowboarding Champion, Air Disc Champion, Action Fish Champion, A Game Of 3 Halves Champion, Battleball Champion, Hacky Sack Champion, FAD 2003 Champion, SQRL Golf Champion, Dr Yeckyl and Mr Ride Champion, Sky Glide Champion, Flyer Champion, Finnair Champion, Drachenjagd Champion, Canyon Glider Champion, City Surfing Champion, Action Driving Game Champion, Extreme Rowing Champion, Kardahdg Champion, Acceleracers Track Mod Champion, Final Test Champion, Du Wichtel Champion, Pedal Power Champion, Camera Killer 2 Champion, Bike Mania on ICE Champion, ATV Winter Challenge Champion, Caliber Dash Champion, Diesel and Death Champion, Snow Ride Champion, Camera Killer Champion, Pepsi Jet Ski Champion, Bumper Cars Championship Champion, Drifting Champion, Get A Grip Champion, Rooney on the Rampage Champion, Death To Ninja Champion, Kung Fu Hustle 2 Champion, Muay Thai Champion, Metal Arm FAWEGE Champion, Knife Champion, Classroom Fighter Champion, Nobuyuki Forces 3 Champion, Caddeva Champion, Sewer Dweller Champion, Angel Mart Champion, Snowy Champion, Bola Champion, Boiler Room Champion, Bobcat Champion, Amazon Quest Champion, Booty Champion, Five Errors Champion, Mind Your Marbles Champion, Angel Fruit Champion, Binggrae Champion, Candy Shoot Champion, Imperial tiles Champion, Himalayaya - Yeti Strikes Back Champion, Terrorist Attack Champion, Americas Army Champion, Special Operations Champion, Destroy the robots Champion, Cubicle Warfare Champion, Battle Field Champion, Weapons Dealer Champion, Army Copter Champion, Flat War Champion, Terrorist Alert Champion, Bully Basher Champion, Reaktor Champion, Bungee Rescue Champion, The Contraptor Champion, Boris Champion, Carling Cold Champion, Paddleball Champion RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe's Avatar
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    Re: The assassin

    agreed with overload... ^^ captured it nicely...

    Hmm... nice style.. and your imagination is nice as well ^^ description is good too

    Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!!
    I'm BACK AO!
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  4. #4
    Legendary Otaku divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment's Avatar
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    Re: The assassin

    My friends and I are playing Assassin! I'm lucky not to have died yet . . . these guys are vicious!

    I love your poem. It had amazing imagery (ants on fire being the most potent for me). I hope to see more from you!

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