Thread: The Autobiography of Everyone (maturecontent;D)

\there is no category for these, however I would idenitfy them most with poetic thought ;D

Ever wonder how people through out history and fiction would relate their lives in modern terms with contemporary values and ideals? If those autobiographies were real these lines would totally be in them.

Also, total mature content warning, like tornado siren warning. \wouldn't be surprised if people waived that fact that this funny because it's also very perverted.

This is just a modified version of irony; it's no less appropriate for minors these days than the television shows they watch.

 click to show spoiler

Something about that little mustache gave me the chills
- Ghetto Fabulous, by Anne Frank

Egyptian men love a little pussy.
- Cleopatra's Nose, by Cleopatra

I invented the term pleasantly plump.
- One Man's Wonderland, by Santa Clause

Yeah, I parted the red sea once; it was weird in the morning but totally worth it.
- Torah, by Moses

If I had met Steve first none of this would have ever happened.
- Original Sinner, by Adam

Marriage is the only shackle I can escape from with my fists.
- Escapist, by Harry Houdini

Judas told Jesus to turn the other cheek, modern gays just snap their fingers.
- Father Issues, by Jesus Christ

Isn't my secret a little obvious?
- Cloth, by Victoria Angel

You know what happened when Miss Piggy finally opened her legs for Kermit? Swine Flu.
- Muppets After Dark, by Dr. E.M. Teeth

It occurs that this is offending to people that treat sexuality and conflict as loaded questions best left unanswered. These aren't answers ;D just funny thoughts.!

Also, it would help knowing a little about these people to understand why the line and book title are funny~

I'd like to continue.. but I can't think of interesting historical or fictional people who are famous and well none.