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Thread: Awakened

  1. #1
    Newbie 3x3ninja may be famous one day 3x3ninja may be famous one day 3x3ninja's Avatar
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    Awakened

    When I am awakened
    Everything goes wrong
    Everybody who claimed to be my friend
    Is gone

    Awaken……
    At times I wish I was still oblivious
    Cause reality is harsh
    I can’t handle this

    Awaken……
    I see who I really am
    I human being
    Stuck in Hades damn

    Awaken……
    I can’t believe I refused to believe
    Everything I held dear is an illusion
    And everything I hated was in absence with out leave

    Awaken……
    Tomorrow is determined by me
    Everything I do is caused by me
    The only I trust is me

    I opened my eyes
    And realized I make things be
    The friends I chose and
    Mistakes I do is done by me


    BEHIND YOU!

  2. #2
    Otaku Basketball Champion Shippo101 has disabled reputation Shippo101's Avatar
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    Re: Awakened

    Wow this is sucha great poem um..... i cant nething wrong with it so far, a job well done
    Shippo is determined to become a lvl higher
    I'm a solider of Pen and Paper!
    <3 Atomik_Sprout <3

  3. #3
    Banned ABC Crazy Champion flaminghate may be famous one day flaminghate may be famous one day
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    Re: Awakened

    I agree with shippo101,lovely job,can't wait to read more^_^

  4. #4
    Newbie Sarlet Rose may be famous one day Sarlet Rose may be famous one day Sarlet Rose's Avatar
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    Re: Awakened

    That was an good poem, i think you should reword it a little but other then that it was muy bien (^_^)

  5. #5
    Otaku nightboyz may be famous one day nightboyz may be famous one day nightboyz's Avatar
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    Re: Awakened

    This was nice when I read it I look like my avatar
    Kamen Rider....DECADE!!!

  6. #6
    Devoted Otaku BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1's Avatar
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    Re: Awakened

    Nice job as always 3x3ninja! Keep up the good work and I honestly don't see any problems with the overall poem. But if I may make a suggestion, changing I to I'm in the third stanza maybe unless you meant to write it like that. Other than that keep up the good work!

  7. #7
    Hell Enforcer George Wants Beer Champion, Monkey Cliff Diving Champion, Tilt 2 Champion hellknight may be famous one day hellknight may be famous one day hellknight's Avatar
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    Re: Awakened

    wow, can't believe it, i think that this poem is way better then mineain ambition, keep it up

  8. #8
    Newbie West_King may be famous one day West_King may be famous one day West_King's Avatar
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    Re: Awakened

    That was so good and it was kinda sad, but over all good job.

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