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Thread: Battle Brings Death

  1. #1
    Hell Enforcer George Wants Beer Champion, Monkey Cliff Diving Champion, Tilt 2 Champion hellknight may be famous one day hellknight may be famous one day hellknight's Avatar
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    Battle Brings Death

    So long we been fighting
    Sending soldier's to war
    When will the killing stop?
    What good is this for?

    Battle brings death

    Guns firing in the sky
    Only people are killing people
    So many suffering and dying
    We know war is lethal

    Death brings sorrow

    Family cries for their loss
    fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers mourn
    Never to forget their loss
    But, they felt their hearts torn

    Feel revenge of a wraith

    Taking vengeance in anger
    Killing the one they hate
    There is no mercy
    Taking their only fate

    No end till tommorrow

    Ending lives by the hand
    Leaving no one to live
    Feeling like a man
    But, how are we to forgive

    this poem came from my journal but I did a remix with it lol, but sounds like I hate america for some reason.

  2. #2
    Banned Big Bird Hunting Champion, Magic Ball Champion, Buzzer Champion, Book Worm Champion, Dragonfly Champion, Add It Up Champion, Trivial Blitz 2 Champion KimiFemi is off to a good start KimiFemi's Avatar
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    Re: Battle Brings Death

    Hey good job I like it
    its in a similar style to mine (Last Kiss)
    the ending was a lil abrupt
    but over all it flows well =D

  3. #3
    Hell Enforcer George Wants Beer Champion, Monkey Cliff Diving Champion, Tilt 2 Champion hellknight may be famous one day hellknight may be famous one day hellknight's Avatar
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    Re: Battle Brings Death

    Thanks I tried to figure out an ending so thats how I came up with lol.

  4. #4
    Banned Big Bird Hunting Champion, Magic Ball Champion, Buzzer Champion, Book Worm Champion, Dragonfly Champion, Add It Up Champion, Trivial Blitz 2 Champion KimiFemi is off to a good start KimiFemi's Avatar
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    Re: Battle Brings Death

    Quote Originally Posted by hellknight View Post
    Thanks I tried to figure out an ending so thats how I came up with lol.

    oh dont worry you did good
    I hate endings there almost as hard to do as beginings lol
    now middles ... lol
    once I get on track its hard to stop lol

  5. #5
    Banned Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip's Avatar
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    Re: Battle Brings Death

    Ooooo it's terrific ^_^ I like the theme. It's so realistic and shows how people sufer when they loose people and watch them pass away. I love it.

  6. #6
    NalaMidnight Eggs Champion P.R. Princess may be famous one day P.R. Princess may be famous one day P.R. Princess's Avatar
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    Re: Battle Brings Death

    I like i8t. Your poem is really good. Don't worry there are many reasons to hate the US and you found a big one. lol. I hate the US right now too. Well I really like the poem and hope to see more of your work.(^.^)

    ~Falling in love one step at a time~
    ~ MYSPACE~AWESOME PLACE TO SAVE~

  7. #7
    Hell Enforcer George Wants Beer Champion, Monkey Cliff Diving Champion, Tilt 2 Champion hellknight may be famous one day hellknight may be famous one day hellknight's Avatar
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    Re: Battle Brings Death

    @rave_grip: thanks homes apprecite it man
    @P.R. Princess: lol don't worry you'll see more of my work soon, and thank you for a awesome comment.

  8. #8
    Shichibukai JefferyXie may be famous one day JefferyXie may be famous one day JefferyXie's Avatar
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    Re: Battle Brings Death

    I like your choice of theme because it reflects what is happening in society at the moment.It also flows quite well until the ending(I think) and the reader can be connected to the ideas of what you wrote.NIce job.

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