View Poll Results: And the winner is...

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  • What you did to me... - AngelicDemon201092

    7 50.00%
  • A Son's Sorrow; A Brother's Grief - Inuruto

    7 50.00%
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Thread: Battle - Family Issues

  1. #1
    I'm sleepy... Jukebox Hero Champion, Word Up Champion, Word Craze Champion gren may be famous one day gren may be famous one day gren's Avatar
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    Battle - Family Issues

    Time for another battle! The contenders this round are AngelicDemon201092 and Inuruto, using a theme of family issues with freestyle form in a fight for poetic superiority! So get those votes in, and let the challengers know what you think.


    What you did to me... - AngelicDemon201092

    What you did to me…

    What is it in you
    That made you believe
    That you could touch me
    Like you have done

    I still wake up at night
    With the nightmares on my mind
    The ones of you and me
    And what you did to me

    Do you know what it’s like
    To know about sex and life
    Before your even old enough
    To write a complex sentence

    To know that at the age of seven
    You were so much different
    You had experienced the bad
    And little of the good

    But yet I guess I can thank you
    For those 5 years you took
    For placing your hands on me
    You showed me how cruel the world can be

    People say I’ve turned out different
    For being molested and raped
    I’m too kind and trusting
    To sweet and loving

    So once again I thank you
    For forcing me to have sex
    For I may never have been
    Then wonderful person I am today

    I may have low self-esteem
    And I may have a sleeping problem
    But all of the things you two put me though
    Have made me a better person

    So as you rot in jail right now
    I want you to know
    That I’m thanking you two
    For teaching me all I know


    vs.



    A Son's Sorrow; A Brother's Grief - Inuruto

    A dad, a mother, one sister, & two brothers
    The making of my family like many others
    Once was open like a window on a breezy spring time day
    Now we stay closed cause of all the bad weather
    I thought no storm could last this long
    I thought it could do nothing but get better
    Our rays of sun stopped shining
    Our love stopped been seen it is just blinding
    I like to think we still care
    Even though the emotions isn't there
    Except lies, secrets, hurt, pain, distrust, & despair
    All of it at once which is hard to bare
    A father who just got tired & left
    A mother who feels she's alone & is by herself
    An older brother who forgot about the family's name
    And did nothing but put it on the shelf
    Another brother who has a colossal of stairs to climb
    And is afraid to take one step
    A sister who has been molested who says she is over it
    But I can tell the pain she kept
    And I who is the youngest & probably most twisted
    Cause I have a mixture of all of them in me plus myself
    I don't know what hurts more.?? The feelings I feel
    Or being not able to help
    I have all this hate in me
    Mostly going towards God for letting all of this be
    Then my mother made me realize that in life comes pain & love
    And that life is far from easy
    A father who said he still love us all & his loved ones is still in his destiny
    A brother who said the family name he cherish
    He was just waiting to become man enough
    For it to carry
    Another brother who says them stairs are like escalators
    And is heading to the top triumphantly
    My sister's pain is either disguised well
    Or she let it go cause it is hard to see
    As for me I am use to all of the lies, misconception, & deceit
    That is why all the hurt I keep
    Cause for me I honestly believe
    That nothing but pain is my true family

    Good luck to both of you!
    sig by Pyro Psycho

  2. #2
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: Battle - Family Issues

    Auch!!!! >.< too personal of a theme, but I read those really emotional works here and told the reader a lot about your personal life...

    Shortly... I voted for AngelicDemon, because it seemed more emotional and created real images and feelings in me, while Inruto's was just like a story that I'm watching from aside, I just could conect myself to Angelic's poem more. And i think you should have parted it in stranzas (I say that just as one of the people who has a sight memory and who loves everything organized and for whom it's hard to receive information if it's not easy to overview...)

    it was odd how you both have quite sad poems and how you both end it happy... its nice to see optimistic people around...

    Anyways... nice work you both!
    Last edited by Lasura; Nov 01, 2007 at 02:10 PM.

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

  3. #3
    Banned AngelicDemon201092 is off to a good start AngelicDemon201092's Avatar
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    Re: Battle - Family Issues

    Quote Originally Posted by Lasura View Post
    Auch!!!! >.< too personal of a theme, but I read those really emotional works here and told the reader a lot about your personal life...

    Shortly... I voted for AngelicDemon, because it seemed more emotional and created real images and feelings in me, while Inruto's was just like a story that I'm watching from aside, I just could conect myself to Angelic's poem more. And i think you should have parted it in stranzas (I say that just as one of the people who has a sight memory and who loves everything organized and for whom it's hard to receive information if it's not clear- easy to overview...)

    it was odd how you both have quite sad poems and how you both end it happy... its nice to see optimistic people around...

    Anyways... nice work you both!
    Aww.. well thank you Laura... But I think Inuruto did a fantastic job. ^-^ Such skill and talent.

    You truly did a great job. I never thought that i would get a vote for mine and I can't wait to see who wins. ^-^ Good luck. ^-^ -salutes-

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    Re: Battle - Family Issues

    You both made me cry... Not only are both poems well written and extremely well worded. But they're highly felt. I identified with inaruto's poem just a bit more because it felt like me talking about my family. Except I'm not the youngest and our mix is a little different. But I know just exactly how the speaker feels in BOTH poems. Except my lost little girl never got the justice of jail time or even an identity of her molester. Kudos to you both for writing entierly wrenching poems.

    You never really loved me/You never really cared/It was all just a game to boost your ego/Those feelings never really there/ I'm filing emotional bankruptcy/My heart can take no more debt/Theres no more "money" there to spend. === Besides tee hee SHE loves me!

  5. #5
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    Re: Battle - Family Issues

    i loved angels poem it read like a letter
    you would write someone when you want them
    to know how life is going for you , you know like killing them with
    kindness.

    its sad that it happened but you taking something positive
    is a plus and you are pretty brave to put yourself out here like
    this , and i know it wasn't easy but you really have guts talking about
    it unlike other people who have that happen , i really liked the poem a lot.
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

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    Re: Battle - Family Issues

    h my gosh i'm tearing up! so sad both of you, i'm not voting i think you both did an exceptional job! keep up the good work both of you!
    I tryed to see things from your point of view but i cant seem to get my head that far up my ass!
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    Re: Battle - Family Issues

    Such amusing poems but in my vote i had to choose AngelicDemon201092 because it really sounded if it i were there in my own eyes even though i still hear stories about it, though i cannot say wheter is happening anywhere is just this poem has convinced me true enough because of the words i read.

    Magic intervenes when there is love in first sight.
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    Re: Battle - Family Issues

    I loved both of them..! They both show pain in which I can see... I can feel both of your pain which saddens me... I want to say sorry for the both of you even though it might not help or that I actually was not the one who caused the hurt in both of your lives... Then again sorry might not be the right word to say, since you all probably don't want to feel like no ones charity case or have pity that leads to sympathy... I just hate to see someone who has been hurt or was in so much pain... < Even though just about everyone has to go through it in life >

    I know displaying such emotion can make one feel vulnerable, but I just want to be the one to congratulate the both of you for having the courage to talk about ones' pain that is so personal...

    Well like I said I loved both of them it makes it hard to vote, but I guess I will go with Inuruto's poem for the simple fact I know pretty much know what he is talking about & where he is coming from & what actually went down amongst his family... And I must say it is a heartbreaker not saying that Angel's isn't either it is just that Inuruto makes me feel like I am there an outsider looking in & can picture each & everyone of his family problems in which that sculpted him & the pain he keeps... (Didn't think I caught on to that ;p )

    I must say to the both of you don't stop talking about you all pain cause poetry or verbally speaking is a good way to vent out the stress, hurt, pain ect.. < Keep up the good work the both of you >

    I have a request: that the both of you write another one about this issue cause you both played it on the safe side, but I can understand... Like I said it isn't easy feeling vulnerable, but "vulnerability leads to being indestructible"...

    "It is easy to tear someone down, but difficult to build someone up"...
    < Which one do you like doing..? >

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