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Thread: beauty of shadows(kinda confusing)

  1. #1
    Banned ABC Crazy Champion flaminghate may be famous one day flaminghate may be famous one day
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    beauty of shadows(kinda confusing)

    Once a man once a woman
    Once a creator of shadow
    Once a creator of beauty

    Man once made the power of shadow
    Woman once made the power of beauty
    Man once created darkness and pain
    Woman once created love and passion

    Man was strong with rebellion
    Woman was strong with peace
    Who won the battle?
    Who took control?
    Who suffered the pain of life and death?

    No one won..
    The man created shadow became beauty
    The woman created beauty became shadow
    Then who made the two switch?
    Who decided the fate between them?

    The man and woman decided there own fate.
    The man choose beauty from his loved one.
    The woman choose shadow from her loved one.

    The man died creating beauty died from shadow within.
    The woman died creating shadow died from beauty within.

    The man saw the woman that once created beauty.
    The woman saw the man that once created shadow.
    They both looked at eachothers eyes.
    They both hold an item that shared their lifes.

    The man carried a black orb.
    The woman carried a red rose.
    They both fused the items into a black and red rose.
    Then it became the freedom of shadow and beauty.

    Then the man returned to the shadows with the red rose.
    Then the woman returned to the beauty with the black orb.

    Thats when beauty became with the shadows.
    Thats when shadows became with the beauty.

    Thats when everything was solved between them.
    Last edited by flaminghate; Feb 13, 2007 at 03:02 AM.

  2. #2
    Devoted Otaku BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1's Avatar
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    Re: beauty of shadows(kinda confusing)

    I agree with you on this poem it is a little confusing but the overall picture is hidden within the words! Keep up the good work flaminghate!

  3. #3
    Heavy Metal Goddess CherryBlossom18 may be famous one day CherryBlossom18 may be famous one day CherryBlossom18's Avatar
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    Re: beauty of shadows(kinda confusing)

    It was a good poem,but I agree with BlueFox1 it is a little confusing. Nice job though.
    "Sunset Kisses Along The Beach"
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    Thanks so much I love it!

  4. #4
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Re: beauty of shadows(kinda confusing)

    The use of repetition in the piece makes me want to sleep. I'd suggest capitalization.
    Seduced by Flesh


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