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Reply With QuoteThat's pretty cool. It's like Robert Frost meets Edgar Allan Poe.
The bed is the Enemy Here's one more. I won't post anymore of my poetry till later. So tell me, do i have a chance as a poet?
Envying your ability to sleep
Just lie there
Listening to the house sway
Creaking in agitation of its inhabitants
If you could grab the scent of your dreams coming
Down
Even if you could watch the effortless calling
As it swiftly takes you
I wait
And wait
Repeating my mantra
Thinking I should have
Built my pillows with clouds
Sowed them with the web of dream catchers
Made a bed with the feathers
Of dying angels
Red is seeping into my eyes
Exhaustion is relentless
Obsessed with not thinking
Yet my mind is restless
Going to a world that is not mine
Dreaming without me
Dawn is breaking
My sanity
Birds waking song
Killing me instead
Who could have thought
I’d kill you for this
Last edited by Nympho; Apr 06, 2006 at 05:42 PM.
I'm a glass child. I am Hannah's regrets. Monster.
That's pretty cool. It's like Robert Frost meets Edgar Allan Poe.
not bad. i think it could use some more work. the begining was good but about 3/4s of the way throgh i wasint as good
IM BACK
Damn....what doesn't go? I like it that you said it was bad. I like it alot.
I'm a glass child. I am Hannah's regrets. Monster.
this part i didnt like. but thats me. it really didnt seem right
Red is seeping into my eyes
Obsessed with not thinking
Yet my mind is restless
Dreaming without me
Dawn is breaking my sanity
Birds waking song
Killing me instead
IM BACK
yeah, something about that passage seemed a little out of place to me, as well. I was just a little shy about saying anything.Originally Posted by bloodhawk
Red is seeping" is talking about when you get red eyes from being tired. And when i try to sleep my mind just keeps thinking, and thinking forever. So i try to tell myself to sleep and focus on not thinking. But i end up daydreaming and don't actually sleep. This cycle goes on all night. And the dawn part is from "when dawn breaks" expression, but it's breaking me, get it.....i could explain forever!
I'm a glass child. I am Hannah's regrets. Monster.
Like I said, Robert Frost meets Edgar Allan Poe! Robert frost had a lot of passages in his writing that you had to analyze to really understand.
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