+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: Bedtime

  1. #1
    Devoted Otaku bratling may be famous one day bratling's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Crystal Minnesota.
    Posts
    556
    Thanks
    11
    Thanked 44 Times in 42 Posts

    Bedtime

    Clock ticking on the wall.
    Thoughts whirring,
    In weary head.
    Foot tapping on the floor.

    Eye-lids drooping,
    Thoughts tumbling,
    Like crumpled paper,
    Littering the desktop.

    Quiet yawns,
    Reflecting on the day,
    A good one,
    How rare.

    To bad it didn't change,
    Her piece of mind.
    Or want to try,
    Insted of just be dead.

    Insted heady feet,
    They climb the stairs,
    And wicked thoughts,
    Tuck her into bed.

    You never really loved me/You never really cared/It was all just a game to boost your ego/Those feelings never really there/ I'm filing emotional bankruptcy/My heart can take no more debt/Theres no more "money" there to spend. === Besides tee hee SHE loves me!

  2. #2
    Rawr~ :3 Boxteroid Champion, flyplane Champion, Home Run Champion, Bubbelfutsch Champion, Fire Fighter Champion, Brendans Soccer Champion, Movie Star Match-Up Champion, Total blackout Champion, Text Your Reflexes Champion, Scary movie Champion, Hulk Smash Up Champion, Star Wars Champion, Extreme Snowboarding Champion, Air Disc Champion, Action Fish Champion, A Game Of 3 Halves Champion, Battleball Champion, Hacky Sack Champion, FAD 2003 Champion, SQRL Golf Champion, Dr Yeckyl and Mr Ride Champion, Sky Glide Champion, Flyer Champion, Finnair Champion, Drachenjagd Champion, Canyon Glider Champion, City Surfing Champion, Action Driving Game Champion, Extreme Rowing Champion, Kardahdg Champion, Acceleracers Track Mod Champion, Final Test Champion, Du Wichtel Champion, Pedal Power Champion, Camera Killer 2 Champion, Bike Mania on ICE Champion, ATV Winter Challenge Champion, Caliber Dash Champion, Diesel and Death Champion, Snow Ride Champion, Camera Killer Champion, Pepsi Jet Ski Champion, Bumper Cars Championship Champion, Drifting Champion, Get A Grip Champion, Rooney on the Rampage Champion, Death To Ninja Champion, Kung Fu Hustle 2 Champion, Muay Thai Champion, Metal Arm FAWEGE Champion, Knife Champion, Classroom Fighter Champion, Nobuyuki Forces 3 Champion, Caddeva Champion, Sewer Dweller Champion, Angel Mart Champion, Snowy Champion, Bola Champion, Boiler Room Champion, Bobcat Champion, Amazon Quest Champion, Booty Champion, Five Errors Champion, Mind Your Marbles Champion, Angel Fruit Champion, Binggrae Champion, Candy Shoot Champion, Imperial tiles Champion, Himalayaya - Yeti Strikes Back Champion, Terrorist Attack Champion, Americas Army Champion, Special Operations Champion, Destroy the robots Champion, Cubicle Warfare Champion, Battle Field Champion, Weapons Dealer Champion, Army Copter Champion, Flat War Champion, Terrorist Alert Champion, Bully Basher Champion, Reaktor Champion, Bungee Rescue Champion, The Contraptor Champion, Boris Champion, Carling Cold Champion, Paddleball Champion RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Not somewhere I love but I am glad I have a home so far
    Posts
    3,804
    Thanks
    82
    Thanked 61 Times in 56 Posts

    Re: Bedtime

    Eye-lids drooping,
    Thoughts tumbling,
    Like crumpled paper,
    Littering the desktop
    Sounds impposible but i can see it in my head @.@ vivid poem..with awesome description..

    i made a poem about being sleepy like this.. but it's funnier.. and very weird... but yours sounds like a more tired person crawling to bed... nice... enjoyed this .. keep it ip ^^

    Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!!
    I'm BACK AO!
    >>>facebook<<<

  3. #3
    Devoted Otaku bratling may be famous one day bratling's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Crystal Minnesota.
    Posts
    556
    Thanks
    11
    Thanked 44 Times in 42 Posts

    Re: Bedtime

    Yanno. It's funny because as I wrote it I saw little ickle letters and words tumbling out of a near slumber girls ear and littering the floor. Like a writers discarded pages. I'm glad you like it so much. It's a very tired and a soul weary person calling it a night/an end.

    You never really loved me/You never really cared/It was all just a game to boost your ego/Those feelings never really there/ I'm filing emotional bankruptcy/My heart can take no more debt/Theres no more "money" there to spend. === Besides tee hee SHE loves me!

  4. #4
    Dragonrider Ichigo_06 is off to a good start Ichigo_06's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Utah
    Posts
    628
    Thanks
    19
    Thanked 10 Times in 10 Posts

    Re: Bedtime

    Great job Bratling I enjoy reading your work I agree with Ray on that too it is verry descriptive. I could see it clearly as a person in a class room or at the kitchen table listening to the clock ticking and falling asleep finally going to bed and actually sleeping. Verry nice! keep it up.
    ナサン フォオツド
    Keep what you hold dear close for one day they may be gone forever!
    Make one person smile for it will continue to spread but if you make a frown that will spread as well.http://www.animeonline.net/gallery/s...0/ppuser/57173

  5. #5
    Slippery When Wet~ Trampoline Tricks 2 Champion, Togy Ball Champion highteckdudu is off to a good start highteckdudu's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    The wonderfull world of Minnesota! And I mean that!
    Posts
    641
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 20 Times in 20 Posts

    Re: Bedtime

    So thats prity much your day? Hmm... well it was a great one! I always enjoy your work! Your so creative, its marvelouse! keep it up!
    I tryed to see things from your point of view but i cant seem to get my head that far up my ass!
    Visit www.highteckdudu.deviantart.com!

  6. #6
    Devoted Otaku bratling may be famous one day bratling's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Crystal Minnesota.
    Posts
    556
    Thanks
    11
    Thanked 44 Times in 42 Posts

    Re: Bedtime

    It was me sitting at my computer desk actually. Thinking being tired and wishing I could sleep forever. Sleep is really the ONLY thing I enjoy fully anymore. And only sicne I sleep so well. (I used ot have maaad insomnia.)

    You never really loved me/You never really cared/It was all just a game to boost your ego/Those feelings never really there/ I'm filing emotional bankruptcy/My heart can take no more debt/Theres no more "money" there to spend. === Besides tee hee SHE loves me!

  7. #7
    Dragonrider Ichigo_06 is off to a good start Ichigo_06's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Utah
    Posts
    628
    Thanks
    19
    Thanked 10 Times in 10 Posts

    Re: Bedtime

    hum listening to the computer fan going then lol keep up the good petry I like it.
    ナサン フォオツド
    Keep what you hold dear close for one day they may be gone forever!
    Make one person smile for it will continue to spread but if you make a frown that will spread as well.http://www.animeonline.net/gallery/s...0/ppuser/57173

+ Reply to Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts