Belittle me to kill me

Shippo101 · Oct 19, 2006, 06:41 AM

Be little me
And while you’re at it
Take my sanity
Take my soul
And just kill me
Tears of pain
Tears of sorrow
Are invisible
Break my smile
Kick me down
Break my leg
Crake my neck
Just destroy me
Patronize me
Hurt me
Take my innocents
Snatch my humanity
Why are you stopping?
Is there no more to destroy?
Or are you looking
Looking for what
My heart?
O that left
When you belittled me
The simple things hurt me more

*Kasai* · Oct 20, 2006, 02:21 AM

I think to balance it out, you should throw in a long verse. It'd break the beat up a bit.

*ketaro* · Oct 20, 2006, 02:49 AM

I think that you need to breake it down in stanzas. It was a nice poem by the way.

BlueFox1 · Oct 20, 2006, 07:44 AM

I like the anger in this poem, it really shows what your feeling, other than that breaking it down into stanzas would be nice. This poem is still awesome because you let your feelings do the talking! Nice Job!

West_King · Oct 20, 2006, 08:53 AM

This is really good sis you really put your foot in it. You showed how ur heart desapated in the first word they spoke to you and then their looking for empyness, the empty ness they created.

Oct 19, 2006, 06:41 AM	#1 (permalink)
Shippo101 Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: In a banana Posts: 220 Thanks: 11 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post Credits: 4,261	Belittle me to kill me Be little me And while you’re at it Take my sanity Take my soul And just kill me Tears of pain Tears of sorrow Are invisible Break my smile Kick me down Break my leg Crake my neck Just destroy me Patronize me Hurt me Take my innocents Snatch my humanity Why are you stopping? Is there no more to destroy? Or are you looking Looking for what My heart? O that left When you belittled me The simple things hurt me more __________________ The heavens laugh at our foolish deed and the greed we exceed
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Oct 20, 2006, 02:21 AM	#2 (permalink)
Kasai Domme Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Florida Posts: 2,745 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 1,490	Re: Belittle me to kill me I think to balance it out, you should throw in a long verse. It'd break the beat up a bit. __________________ Seduced by Flesh
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Oct 20, 2006, 02:49 AM	#3 (permalink)
ketaro Its Over 9000! Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 4,226 Thanks: 27 Thanked 31 Times in 29 Posts Credits: 23,378	Re: Belittle me to kill me I think that you need to breake it down in stanzas. It was a nice poem by the way.
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Oct 20, 2006, 07:44 AM	#4 (permalink)
BlueFox1 Upcoming Legend Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: A place called Midnight Sun know as Tranquility Posts: 584 Thanks: 8 Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts Credits: 1,176	Re: Belittle me to kill me I like the anger in this poem, it really shows what your feeling, other than that breaking it down into stanzas would be nice. This poem is still awesome because you let your feelings do the talking! Nice Job! __________________
Status: Offline

Oct 20, 2006, 08:53 AM	#5 (permalink)
West_King Newbie Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: The D Posts: 27 Thanks: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post Credits: 165	Re: Belittle me to kill me This is really good sis you really put your foot in it. You showed how ur heart desapated in the first word they spoke to you and then their looking for empyness, the empty ness they created. __________________
Status: Offline

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