Beware!!

sazza2488 · Mar 21, 2007, 02:43 AM

BEWARE !! Lest ye should incur my wrath !
'Tis dangerous now, seek not that path
For on this day I have been scorned
And you, my fellows, have been warned
I am not of a light-hearted mood
You’d do well to leave me, while I brood
It may be said that I am fey
As would any who had lived my day
So hearken well, and heed my words
I do not wish to be disturbed !!!

*Kasai* · Mar 21, 2007, 02:45 AM

Wow, I like this poem as well. The wording is just spectacular. just remember, 4 created threads a day.

*Rave_Grip* · Mar 21, 2007, 03:03 AM

Not bad at all. i mean it. I love the flow and the wordings. Keep it up ^_^

*RayMe* · Mar 21, 2007, 08:17 AM

Agree with those above me ^^
and wow u sound scary

i shall keep away now~

eleonne · Mar 21, 2007, 06:01 PM

Your poem has a fantastic rhythm, so good job about that. The rhythm and the theme made it an interesting and worthwhile read for me. However, I feel that the double and triple exclamation marks were unecessary, and that you could do with only one mark. I think your choice of words were sufficient in making your mood in the poem clear enough. I also feel the same way about the all caps. Anyways, good job ^^

Lotski · Mar 21, 2007, 06:07 PM

wow! be cautious everyone!
i like it..
Reading it makes me feel that you are
very dangerous... VERY eh? hehehe...

sazza2488 · Mar 22, 2007, 07:45 AM

Thanks all of you! ^^

I'm really a nice girl...honestly lol.

It's just if somebody winds me up in a bad way then that's what they get!

I'm glad you all liked it.

CherryBlossom18 · Mar 23, 2007, 01:30 AM

I like this poem it sounds like what someone would say in a movie before a battle started.

elie26 · Mar 23, 2007, 06:18 AM

Oo.. I like this

Shame you couldn't make it longer, but I guess it suits the mood, being angry and all XD Very nice use of words ^^

P.R. Princess · Mar 25, 2007, 02:48 PM

OoOoOoO THIS is good poem the wording had me thinking a bit but after I got the meaning I really like it.Keep it up.(^.^)

Peach_follows · Mar 25, 2007, 03:11 PM

Ooooh I love the hint of old english... Very original. Reminded me of my junior year sitting in my shakespeare class.. Almost like a scene from Richard the III.

Mar 21, 2007, 02:43 AM	#1 (permalink)
sazza2488 Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: England, UK Posts: 139 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 359	Beware!! BEWARE !! Lest ye should incur my wrath ! 'Tis dangerous now, seek not that path For on this day I have been scorned And you, my fellows, have been warned I am not of a light-hearted mood You’d do well to leave me, while I brood It may be said that I am fey As would any who had lived my day So hearken well, and heed my words I do not wish to be disturbed !!!
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Mar 21, 2007, 02:45 AM	#2 (permalink)
Kasai Domme Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Florida Posts: 2,745 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 1,380	Re: Beware!! Wow, I like this poem as well. The wording is just spectacular. just remember, 4 created threads a day. __________________ Seduced by Flesh
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Mar 21, 2007, 03:03 AM	#3 (permalink)
Rave_Grip I hate idiots on AO. Kill Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Life is an illusion. Posts: 2,313 Thanks: 0 Thanked 11 Times in 11 Posts Credits: 14,467	Re: Beware!! Not bad at all. i mean it. I love the flow and the wordings. Keep it up ^_^ __________________ Wherever you see, there is always 98% of people who love something; and 2% that don't. I'm pretty sure that not ALL 98% of peeps don't support Lolita or anything. So if you agree, put it in your sig. \| .:~My AO Gallery~:. \| \| .:~The AO Rules~:. \|
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Mar 21, 2007, 08:17 AM	#4 (permalink)
RayMe 1 )3^^( )N Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Somewhere i would love to leave right now for somewhere better... Posts: 3,589 Thanks: 54 Thanked 26 Times in 23 Posts Credits: 58,560	Re: Beware!! Agree with those above me ^^ and wow u sound scary i shall keep away now~ __________________ Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!! The best ever Lasura~! >>>myspace<<<
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Mar 21, 2007, 06:01 PM	#5 (permalink)
eleonne Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: In forests of fantasy... Posts: 324 Thanks: 0 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts Credits: 1,528	Re: Beware!! Your poem has a fantastic rhythm, so good job about that. The rhythm and the theme made it an interesting and worthwhile read for me. However, I feel that the double and triple exclamation marks were unecessary, and that you could do with only one mark. I think your choice of words were sufficient in making your mood in the poem clear enough. I also feel the same way about the all caps. Anyways, good job ^^ __________________
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Mar 21, 2007, 06:07 PM	#6 (permalink)
Lotski Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Baguio City, Philippines Posts: 150 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 358	Re: Beware!! wow! be cautious everyone! i like it.. Reading it makes me feel that you are very dangerous... VERY eh? hehehe... __________________ Be d REASON for someone's happiness, NOT just part of it... Be a PART of someone's sadness, but NOT d reason for it.
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Mar 22, 2007, 07:45 AM	#7 (permalink)
sazza2488 Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: England, UK Posts: 139 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 359	Re: Beware!! Thanks all of you! ^^ I'm really a nice girl...honestly lol. It's just if somebody winds me up in a bad way then that's what they get! I'm glad you all liked it.
Status: Offline

Mar 23, 2007, 01:30 AM	#8 (permalink)
CherryBlossom18 Heavy Metal Goddess Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: a place where the stars shine as bright as the sun Posts: 578 Thanks: 1 Thanked 16 Times in 16 Posts Credits: 2,166	Re: Beware!! I like this poem it sounds like what someone would say in a movie before a battle started. __________________ "Sunset Kisses Along The Beach" Made for me by HolderofTheDarkChalice Thanks so much I love it!
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Mar 23, 2007, 06:18 AM	#9 (permalink)
elie26 Elie Jelly Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Hell is an understatement Posts: 608 Thanks: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post Credits: 2,051	Re: Beware!! Oo.. I like this Shame you couldn't make it longer, but I guess it suits the mood, being angry and all XD Very nice use of words ^^
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Mar 25, 2007, 02:48 PM	#10 (permalink)
P.R. Princess NalaMidnight Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Virginia Posts: 898 Thanks: 3 Thanked 17 Times in 16 Posts Credits: 14,101	Re: Beware!! OoOoOoO THIS is good poem the wording had me thinking a bit but after I got the meaning I really like it.Keep it up.(^.^) __________________ ~GUNSLINGER~A7X=MIA~ ~ MYSPACE~AWESOME PLACE TO SAVE~ ~I give my heart and everything to my sailor~
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Mar 25, 2007, 03:11 PM	#11 (permalink)
Peach_follows Still pointing the sword? Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Friendly Fridley Posts: 972 Thanks: 28 Thanked 18 Times in 18 Posts Credits: 10,645	Re: Beware!! Ooooh I love the hint of old english... Very original. Reminded me of my junior year sitting in my shakespeare class.. Almost like a scene from Richard the III. __________________ I will give you a son....
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