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Thread: Bid Me This Painless Dream

  1. #1
    Newbie Sarlinari may be famous one day Sarlinari may be famous one day
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    Bid Me This Painless Dream

    I've been seeing alot of "I like this poem, but there's too many happy poems here", haha! This is where i come in x3 Dark depressing poems are my thing lol. Well use to be, i don't write too much anymore, but i might try to get back into it =P This is a non-rhyming poem, as i had told Innerhell i've written very few rhyming poems.

    -----------------------------------------

    Send me to my heavenly place,
    Where crimson waters are never spilled,
    And the grass is greener on the other side.
    Let me spread these broken wings,
    And find a place i may call my own.
    For this cruel reality is choking me,
    Weighing me down with long lost burdens.

    Lift my dying spirit and bid me an eternity,
    For this bleeding heart of mine,
    Is over flowing with sorrow.
    It's poison slowly killing my system,
    Destroying all my hope and courage.
    And i can't survive the next blow,
    My soul is already shattered into pieces.

    Take me to the place where i can live my life,
    Without feeling the pain of the past,
    Or the dying hope that tomorrow i will wake.
    Remove your death grip from me,
    I wish to walk away from it all.
    To not awaken in your arms anymore,
    But to breathe in my own little haven.

  2. #2
    Bored college student fayt lingod may be famous one day fayt lingod may be famous one day fayt lingod's Avatar
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    Re: Bid Me This Painless Dream

    i don't mind happy poems, just not sappy ones, but this is good too. very....different.

    thanks to zyta for the sick sig and avy!

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    Otaku N!tr0-Glyc3r1n may be famous one day N!tr0-Glyc3r1n may be famous one day N!tr0-Glyc3r1n's Avatar
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    Re: Bid Me This Painless Dream

    very good job......im just more of a rhyme kind of guy


    thank u SasuraiHell
    go -=NOOBZ=- clan!

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    Choas Jon f may be famous one day Jon f may be famous one day Jon f's Avatar
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    Re: Bid Me This Painless Dream

    Quote Originally Posted by N!tr0-Glyc3r1n View Post
    very good job......im just more of a rhyme kind of guy
    It does rhyme.Not all of it but some like there is one or two sentcenes that rhyme and then the next ones rhyme but they don;t rhyme with each other alot but is still cool
    Perfection is dull

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    Re: Bid Me This Painless Dream

    this poem is perfect the way it is i have a few poems up my self that are dark you should check them out if like dark poem's . and i like the way you did this i thinks poems are better if you dont ryme but thats just me
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

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    Otaku Princess Zelda14 may be famous one day Princess Zelda14 may be famous one day Princess Zelda14's Avatar
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    Re: Bid Me This Painless Dream

    i like it!!! its very... cool very... not normal!!! lol good job!!!
    "... And then, a ray of light pierced the darkness. The light turned into a figure of a person who was followed by a fairy, and also held the spirit of the forest..."



    thats great!! thank you!!


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    Re: Bid Me This Painless Dream

    Decent Poem! It's unique in its own way Good job

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    Re: Bid Me This Painless Dream

    YUMMY
    YUMMY!!!!
    I like it alot
    it sounds verry touching!
    A personal heaven ...
    away from someone or something...
    IF ONLY THERE WAS SUCH A PLACE
    there are no raindrops on roses but there are still tears in my eyes...

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