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Thread: Black Is the Night

  1. #1
    Banned ABC Crazy Champion flaminghate may be famous one day flaminghate may be famous one day
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    Black Is the Night

    Deep inside I ache with
    Despair but no one
    Can even feel the
    Presence I bare.

    They do not see what
    Lies ahead, when the
    Sun has failed and
    The moon is dead.

    Black is the night
    Wide is the land
    Cold is your heart
    Red are my hands.

    Love is the slowest
    Form of suicide.

    They underestimated
    Me, now they are all dead.
    Last edited by flaminghate; Feb 15, 2007 at 02:49 AM.

  2. #2
    Devoted Otaku BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1's Avatar
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    Re: Black Is the Night

    Nice poem, but the use of commas in this particular poem, is over used! I mean you have the right idea about punctuation, but go easy on it. Now unless you intended to write it that way then okay, but from a critique stand point, like I said before don't over do it with the commas okay? Keep up the good work I see there are a lot of poems here from you!

  3. #3
    Otaku Angel_in_hell is off to a good start
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    Re: Black Is the Night

    i really like this one to! it really does explain love and what it does to ppl!

    IN THE END IT DOSENT EVEN MATTER

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