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Thread: Black and White

  1. #1
    Otaku AnimeGeek may be famous one day AnimeGeek may be famous one day AnimeGeek's Avatar
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    Black and White

    ~I don't know if this is considered a poem but oh whatever. ^_^ I wrote it a few yrs. ago. so yeah. Hope u like it.


    Black and White


    Why do they look at you and not me?
    They look at they way you walk they seem to have cures for your sadness.
    But you do not realize it, you can’t see there kindness.
    But when they look at my eyes all they see is a
    White pure and happy mask covering over my dark face,
    My rotting skeleton
    I try ripping this white mask off but it can’t come off because you will look at me with disgust
    And make me put it back on.
    Beyond this mask I dive into a pool of sorrow
    My acidic tears fall right in place
    I twist and turn in the black pool of sorrow and disgust,
    I crawl at the bottom of sorrow and rise for disgust
    I walk on eggshells so I don’t break your crystal face and don’t reveal my face.
    Does half of what’s in the inside show on the outside?
    Your clear and pure pool you swim in,
    Is it just an illusion so you can push me into my black pool?
    As I curl up on the outside my eyes fill up and drip into my black pool
    Where I dive right in and float motionless waiting to hear you disenchanting words.
    I walk with my held high for you to see and feel happy
    while in the inside I’m sinking into black sand at the bottom of my tears
    I stab my inner walls of lost hope
    I scratch my inner floors to find disappointment.
    So I keep my white mask on and let no one down with my black mask.
    If you find satisfaction in not dealing with the hurt
    Than watch and stare at my porcelain mask, I created for you.

  2. #2
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    Re: Black and White

    i love this poem not being your true self is
    what life is all about sadly the in croawds
    the shunned and unobserved people
    in our lives its really sad how they are
    treated and if you want the attention
    thwy have to live a lie wich isnt being true
    to themselves. vewry cool poem i loved it alot
    this what i got from it
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  3. #3
    Newbie Kamiya may be famous one day Kamiya may be famous one day
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    Re: Black and White

    Muuu ^-^ You have very good potential to become a good poet. ^^ This is what I would suggest = try to make the sentences a bit shorter, and break the lines into stanzas. I like this poem very much but you can make it lot better. ^^

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    THUMBSUCKING ADDICTION Mr. K is making a name for themselves Mr. K is making a name for themselves Mr. K's Avatar
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    Re: Black and White

    I am scared now~! *hides* >.<||

    Anywho!

    Besides that. You could make the body look better.

    I like it, is cool. Another true, but cold poem.
    ≥°≤ [?] █▓▒░░▒▓█ [?] ≥°≤
    You know how you drown a blonde, Rosalie? Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool.
    Jacob Black, Breaking Dawn, Chapter 14, p.271
    Lamie Hynamen "I reject your reality and substitute my own."

  5. #5
    Warrior Monk kedar may be famous one day kedar may be famous one day kedar's Avatar
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    Re: Black and White

    Quote Originally Posted by Rave_Grip
    Sweet ^^;
    Quote Originally Posted by Lost_Love
    I Luffs It!!!
    Please Write More!!!!
    Both of you haven't read the rules, have you? Here:
    Quote Originally Posted by AO Rules: jaderabbit

    RULES:[*] Also please give a little critisism no more "I like it then leaving or ill stick a 10% warning on you"
    If I see anymore posts these from either of you, I will add on infraction. Let this be your first and final warning.

    Consider Kamiya's post.

  6. #6
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    Re: Black and White

    Nice poem there,its all about yourself...now I have an idea of what I'll do in my poem...



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