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Thread: blade of blood

  1. #1
    Newbie Ninja_Amaya is off to a good start Ninja_Amaya's Avatar
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    blade of blood

    With this blade you cut my flesh my life you wish to throw away,
    my eyes frozen with only sadness
    as the tears run down my face,
    blood pours from the wounds you’ve created.

    Taunt me no more, please I beg of thee.
    Walking a lonely path,
    dragging the chains you’ve made me wear.
    Hiding my shame within the shadows,
    darkness consuming my soul.
    Hoping, waiting for you to find me,
    to set me free.

    Collapsing of exhaustion,
    unable to move.
    Lying motionless,
    slipping into the darkness.
    Whispering your name.
    Fading away,
    perishing,
    with your blood upon my lips.

    oppions on the poem please.

  2. #2
    Newbie Naruku is off to a good start Naruku's Avatar
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    Re: blade of blood

    I like tragic poems, exam:to die in thy own blood only to be in bitter pain and agony only oh what sorrow.
    so what do you think of my very small poem.
    Naraku

  3. #3
    Newbie Seraphim Tears may be famous one day Seraphim Tears may be famous one day Seraphim Tears's Avatar
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    Re: blade of blood

    That was so beautiful, I truly love it. The first line reminds me of a bad moment in a person's life so dear to me...
    It is tragic, but very expressive and beautiful.
    Live life to the fullest and never stop.

  4. #4
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Re: blade of blood

    Good punctuation would help this flow. Right now? It reads like.. something that went through the shreader.
    Seduced by Flesh


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