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Thread: Blah!

  1. #1
    Jigoku Shoujo Dangerous Dave Part 1 : Mole Surfing Champion Descended From Darkness may be famous one day Descended From Darkness may be famous one day Descended From Darkness's Avatar
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    Blah!

    Monday
    The worst day of the week
    The start of school
    The beginningof my agony

    Oh how I hate Mondays
    Its bloody hell
    Though I know I'm not the only
    one who hates Mondays.

    Monday
    The only day that I'm not hyper
    The only day I feel as if I have
    a hangover
    My brain feels like mush
    I cn't think nor concentrate
    (though that's everyday)
    And its the one day that I'm
    moodier than the other.

    Monday
    The one day I feel like Hell.
    The one day I want to go to
    sleep and never wake up.

    Monday
    The one day most of us love to hate.

    Monday
    The one day I don't think is Friday.

  2. #2
    Hell Enforcer George Wants Beer Champion, Monkey Cliff Diving Champion, Tilt 2 Champion hellknight may be famous one day hellknight may be famous one day hellknight's Avatar
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    Re: Blah!

    I hardly get this poem at all sorry, but still some people love monday's for a reason I guess its the start of every weekend lol.

  3. #3
    Otaku sangogirl may be famous one day sangogirl may be famous one day sangogirl's Avatar
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    Re: Blah!

    i love your topic. mondays. it has a lot of thruth to it. it has a comic side to it. (i don't know if that was what you were going for) I like that it isn't very serious. unusual format but i like it, it works.
    every rose has a thorn

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    Shichibukai JefferyXie may be famous one day JefferyXie may be famous one day JefferyXie's Avatar
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    Re: Blah!

    Something that is different from what i usually read in poetry in terms of structure.Anyway,I like the use of repititions,but unfortunately it doesn't flow that well.However,i give you credit for trying.

  5. #5
    Shichibukai JefferyXie may be famous one day JefferyXie may be famous one day JefferyXie's Avatar
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    Re: Blah!

    I like the repetitions of 'the',but unfortunately...the poem seems to lack something even though i like how the poem has a lot of emotion and heart in it.
    Last edited by JefferyXie; Feb 26, 2007 at 09:52 PM. Reason: Delete

  6. #6
    Banned Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip's Avatar
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    Re: Blah!

    Heh, first time I've read poems like this ^^ I love it. No mistakes
    But make one about Friday's so it'll be happy ^^

  7. #7
    Otaku AngelFlow may be famous one day AngelFlow may be famous one day
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    Re: Blah!

    Its good, its a poem I can relate to. Monday's can be such a drag...

  8. #8
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Re: Blah!

    Quote Originally Posted by JefferyXie View Post
    Something that is different from what i usually read in poetry in terms of structure.Anyway,I like the use of repititions,but unfortunately it doesn't flow that well.However,i give you credit for trying.
    Everything they said. Maybe just a bit more creativity with rhetorical strategies wouldve made it roll better off of the tongue.
    Seduced by Flesh


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