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Thread: Blinded

  1. #1
    Elie Jelly elie26 may be famous one day elie26 may be famous one day elie26's Avatar
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    Blinded

    I don't know how bad it is @_@ Hope you can comment about it.

    Blinded

    Pretty face, a picture of your dreams
    Empty case, to hold nothing within

    Radiant skin, catching your wandering eye
    Deadly means, motives that makes you cry

    Flowing hair, running through the breeze
    Jealous pair, vengeance that never cease

    Floating above, you think you’re in love
    Her perfection, something I need not mention

    Pull you in, a victim caught in her fin
    Lovely grace, you go for the chase

    Eyes filled with lust, under a spell she cast
    A pawn in the game, to her it’s all the same

    Blinded fool, you were just a simple tool
    Turn back now, before you never know how…

  2. #2
    Banned Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip's Avatar
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    Re: Blinded

    Oh, I started to figure it out the poem at the middle to end oart. It's not bad actually, it's just like your sig

  3. #3
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: Blinded

    I really liked this one! I like the fact that the lines are quite short and grouped it too, it made it alot easier to read and understand... And the though... I just love the thing you're saying in this poem... And the last lines... wonderful, I liked the fact that the reason why the title is "Blinded" is explained in the end... it made it all more intense, I enjoyed reading this very much!

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

  4. #4
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    Re: Blinded

    Ooh.. i like this one brilliantly made... like it very much kudos to u my friend ^^

    Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!!
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    ??*Everyone Here Hates Me??* Zackraa may be famous one day Zackraa may be famous one day Zackraa's Avatar
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    Re: Blinded

    I love it it had a bouncy flow to it yet it was short ^_^


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    Banned Jamie5192 is off to a good start Jamie5192's Avatar
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    Re: Blinded

    awww. that's a sad poem... i like it though... it kind of remindes me of people I used to know... and some I still know...

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    Otaku Hitokiri Battousai may be famous one day Hitokiri Battousai may be famous one day
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    Re: Blinded

    very nice one ^^ but it has a certain something I cant put my finger on it... anyway its very good

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    Re: Blinded

    nice poem it was kinda sweet and made me think you were talking about a mermaid when you mentioned the fin.
    "Sunset Kisses Along The Beach"
    Made for me by HolderofTheDarkChalice
    Thanks so much I love it!

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