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Thread: Blissful moment...

  1. Jun 13, 2007 03:09 PM #1
    Lasura
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    Blissful moment...

    I sat in the middle of my garden and just wanted to memorialize the peace of the moment and here is what came out of it... tell me what's missing? I want to find the secret ingredient...

    In the quiet harmony of the day
    On a big, green field I lie...
    The tender touch of the wind
    Takes my worries away...
    The sun shining so gently
    Warms my cold soul...
    The big old oak tree
    Watches over me...

    I dream away,
    Let the bugs walk on my body...
    My eye lids... so heavy...
    My heart- so calm
    I feel at home... At last
    Only one thing missing- you...
    In this blissful moment...
    You're the only one I long for...

    Let me fall asleep...
    In your arms...

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge
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  2. Jun 13, 2007 04:12 PM #2
    HitTheLight
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    Re: Blissful moment...

    i really really really like this poem.=] its really good.
    Colors of the Heart
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  3. Jun 13, 2007 05:27 PM #3
    OfeliasFire
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    Re: Blissful moment...

    Aww so sweet. It makes me want to give my boyfriend a big hug lol. Anyway very good poem I give it a 9 and half/10 ^-^
    Dear Dinah...
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  4. Jun 13, 2007 06:16 PM #4
    KuwiRules145
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    Re: Blissful moment...

    Awww!!!!! Thats so cute and romantic!!!! It's very lovely!!!! I hope to see more!
    「When I'm sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead」
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  5. Jun 13, 2007 09:08 PM #5
    xxoxx
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    Re: Blissful moment...

    That was a very romantic poem that you writed before...I love it ...
    really it's a nice poem ....hope to see more ..

    Foolish beating
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  6. Jun 13, 2007 09:31 PM #6
    Abu Dhabi
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    Re: Blissful moment...

    i thought it was very sweet as well! i thought the flow was nice enough, but i think if it had more rhythm it would have really lent to the piece...

    The big oak tree
    Watches over me...
    personally, i think if this kind of flow had kept going, it would have really added to the dream-likeness of your poem!

    ^o^ good job!
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  7. Jun 13, 2007 10:15 PM #7
    AngelFlow
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    Re: Blissful moment...

    Your poem is very cute. It reminds me of the person I'm missing very much right now. But still it is a good poem.^^
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  8. Jun 14, 2007 01:26 AM #8
    Lasura
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    Re: Blissful moment...

    Thank You all very much! ^^ I'm really glad to hear You like this poem!!!
    Thank You Cecilia, thank You Kuwi and thank you xxoxx... hmm... you found this poem romantic? Yea... I guess it is...

    Oh and a 9 and a half/ 10 from Kelly- truly an honour *bows* Thank You!!! ^^

    Thank You Abu for the advice, You're right- rythm would be good...

    And sorry for bringing sad feelings AngelFlow...

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge
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