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Thread: Blood

  1. #1
    Devoted Otaku bratling may be famous one day bratling's Avatar
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    Blood

    The taste is thick in my mouth
    Bitter like my mistrust and hate
    It slowly slinks over my lips
    And down my throat, Like
    Slightly warmed honey.

    The feeling rushing my body
    Like torrents of molten lava
    Simmering beneath the skin
    Burning to burst forth.

    Sticky to my skin, like sweat,
    But thick like molassis
    Clinging to me desperately
    Like a child to it's mother.

    Trickling in splatters across
    The floor, The wall, My face,
    My shirt, Oh hell even my shoes,
    On the lamp and the couch too.

    But worst of all, is the body on the
    Bedroom floor, cus there you are,
    Leaking out all over my hard wood,
    Bed room floor.
    Last edited by bratling; Aug 23, 2007 at 03:57 AM. Reason: Spelling errors! Bad brat bad.

  2. #2
    Otaku Adarrah may be famous one day Adarrah may be famous one day Adarrah's Avatar
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    Re: Blood

    Yay! What a creepy poem... There's a mistake that I think you know what it is: beneth-*beneath. Huh.... Umn... Bratling, is this poem talking about someone who enjoys looking at other ppl's blood? It's kind of- you know- a bit scary for a kid like me... Heheh... But anyway, I think it's a good one^_^! And, of course, something new for a person like me^_^!
    Carve an amble now,
    Saying that the day's still bright,
    And let's play with time.

  3. #3
    Devoted Otaku bratling may be famous one day bratling's Avatar
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    Re: Blood

    Never been a great speller so no, I actually missed that one. It's a horrible habbit I know. I should start using spell check. But I often write in the "quick reply" box when I'm on AO and I don't have spell check then! Lol. And yeah... It was about someone reveling in someone elses blood. While their own was boiling. I was pretty angry, sorry it got "Scary" Lol. I'm glad you like it.

  4. #4
    Otaku Adarrah may be famous one day Adarrah may be famous one day Adarrah's Avatar
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    Re: Blood

    *chuckles* Yeah... And I think you're good at it ^_^! lol My lilttle sister cried when she read this poem. lol But then, of course, it a good work- she told me after crying. lol Keep it up!
    Carve an amble now,
    Saying that the day's still bright,
    And let's play with time.

  5. #5
    Devoted Otaku bratling may be famous one day bratling's Avatar
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    Re: Blood

    Oh...wow! Thanks! Wow.. I don't even know what to say to that. It makes me feel really acomplished! I'm glad I got the boiling angriness across so well. Sorry for the tears though! Hate to make people cry.

  6. #6
    Otaku Adarrah may be famous one day Adarrah may be famous one day Adarrah's Avatar
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    Re: Blood

    It's nothing, really... She's just an amusing kid... Crying all of a sudden lol The next time you write, just tell me- I'll be sure to check it! -PEACE!-
    Carve an amble now,
    Saying that the day's still bright,
    And let's play with time.

  7. #7
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    Re: Blood

    *chuckles* LOVE IT~! simply marvelous... ^^ i like the vivid image of this poem...the use of words...I like your imagination...show me more of such.. ^^ hope to read more...

    Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!!
    I'm BACK AO!
    >>>facebook<<<

  8. #8
    Otaku Seirika is off to a good start
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    Re: Blood

    Creepy,Weird,and Unique all in one-I love it!
    It made me image a vampire while reading it Dx
    Keep writing more!!!

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