You left me there on the floor
Bleeding
Crying
Dying slowly in pain
Crimson snow fell from the night sky
My white wings of love changed
into the black wings of hate.
In the end I fell from my dream up high
lost my freedom and will to fly.
As I was tied down to fate
Tied to death
Living in hell
You soon became out of my reach
you went to far
I couldnt get any closer
to the feather that was flying so high
In the end I couldnt be you wings of love
Your blue star
Your night sky
Your starry night
I shall wait for your replies so I can write better poems
If you try and fly to your goal you will only fall from the starry sky
the first stanza I relly like. It has a nice flow and it catches the reader's attention. however the second and third stanza? Well, punctuation is required for the rest of the poem to give it a flow. Also:
Crimson snow fell from the night sky
My white wings of love changed
into the black wings of hate.
I'm ot understanding how black wings can be a result of crimson snow. Try to be a bit more clear in your point of a stanza.
Seduced by Flesh
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