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Old Jun 11, 2007, 02:27 AM   #1 (permalink)
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The Boat

The Boat.

Rowing down the endless stream.
Paddling everyday without stopping.
Tiring and wears you out,
but clock never stops so must the boat.

Never to look back to the used routes.
The river goes straight,
but there are crossroads at every turn.
Never certain what is infront on each turn.

The vessel steadily moves on.
Sometimes it will run into other's route.
It can get speedy and slow at times.
through rough canals and calm waters.

Would you end on a murky swamp?
Might you be stuck in the middle?
Did you choose the right way?
Can your destination be reached?

Even if you lose your row,
and drift along the riverun.
Though you sunk your craft,
and have to swim till the end...

Never step out to the shore.
Stop your journey you must not.
Move on and strive till you are there~!
No matter what it takes
for time stops for no man...

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hmm... how's this time?
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Old Jun 11, 2007, 03:25 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Re: The Boat

I like this poem very much. It talks about life and tells you should never give up and should always move on and what could be a better sugestion.
I really liked this stranza:
Quote:
Would you end on a murky swamp?
Might you be stuck in the middle?
Did you choose the right way?
Can your destination be reached?
because it's just what I'm thinking about all the time- have I made the right move? and where I will end up like this?

A really nice work Ray. ^^
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Old Jun 11, 2007, 03:34 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Re: The Boat

ahh another nice comment by lasura ^^ *claps* ty ^^

yeah...im thinking about that the whole time.. sheesh ~.~

Jinsei no merry go round... sigh~
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Old Jun 11, 2007, 09:18 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Re: The Boat

Amazing, truely amazing make more poems please!!!! that needs to b published ur my number 1 poem writer on this after that 10/10
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Old Jun 11, 2007, 08:53 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Re: The Boat

ok i have a small stuip qustion ..did you think the life is same the boat you talk a bout in this poem ?....
what i say nice or fabuolas choose any of them but it's a goood one ...
hope to see more from you ...great ray
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Old Jun 11, 2007, 10:56 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Re: The Boat

Ah another good poem I have read by you
Loved the writing style and wordery ( hehe I know...I have my own language)
I give it a 10/10 this time lol ^-^
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Old Jun 12, 2007, 02:43 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Re: The Boat

@.@ 2 10/10~!! ty ^^ and finally i get a 10/10 from u lol

me? great? nah...this poem was inspired by another poem actually...the two roads...i forgot who wrote it but it was such a meaningful poem for me ^^
so i made another version using the boat..
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