Book Of Eterinty

Shinigami's_Angel · Jun 21, 2006, 11:46 PM

Here's some more lyrics of mine lol Sorry if they seem werid or anything lol Well,hope everybody enjoys them

Title-Book Of Eterinty

Torn to peices
Pages just discared
Pages torn to thousands of peices
A precious book thrown to the floor

Secret knowledge fills these pages
Ancient spells come to life
A light burst from the book
A bright aura fills the room with light

Such a powerful aura
What kind of power could this be?
An ancient knowledge we have never known
What mysterious spells lurk within...

A bright light comes forth
And embraces you
What is this warmth?
Could this be what i've been looking for?

How I have searched for so long for this feeling
This warm feeling that embraces me
The ancient knowledge
The secret spells of Eterinty!

I reach out for this unknow existance
I reach it and embrace it tightly
I embrace this Ancient secret,that is known as Eterinty.

Reese · Jun 22, 2006, 11:51 PM

I think you've had the Fushigi Yuugi concept embedded in your head, far too long Shini. lol. ^_^

A nice poem nonetheless.

Quote:

Torn to peices
Pages just discared
Pages torn to thousands of peices
A precious book thrown to the floor

^ My favourite quote. Good repetition with 'Torn' - it sends the audience an idea of 'Loss' and un-acknowledgement.
To be honest I like your other works better, but this is good also.

setsuna mudo1617 · Jun 23, 2006, 12:22 AM

i like it.

im bored.lol

elie26 · Jun 23, 2006, 01:25 AM

hmm....i noticed some spelling mistakes

u can edit it! arua- "AURA"

Quote:

A bright arua fills the room with light

this poems gives out a strange and mysterious feeling to readers ! me like

Shinigami's_Angel · Jun 23, 2006, 06:11 AM

Thanks Reese

And yes I know.I was just writting whatever came 2 mind that day lol

Thanks Setsuna

Happy that you liked it

And thanks for showing me that Elie

And i'm very happy that you liked it

HieisLove · Jun 25, 2006, 07:09 PM

I like this one also. I mean, I'd say this the type of music I'd listen to.

*HolderOfTheDarkChalice* · Jun 25, 2006, 08:36 PM

this poem was great it reminds me
of an rpg not to take away from the poem
but it really did i liked this alot

Immortal Warrior · Jun 26, 2006, 03:57 PM

It's interesting but I have a few beefs with it.
1. It doesn't rhyme or flow at all.
2. A few minor spelling errors and I think a few grammar ones as well.
3. It's rather generic.

I can't get too much on you cuz' I've been guilty of all three of those things countless times. It's a very good beggining to some kind of fantasy story, or just plain cool as far as I'm concerned. Give it rythm because that can make or break a poem. Rhyming is something that has come naturally to me and it can be tricky even at the best of times, but it can seriously make a poem shine my friend, and you've got quite a vocabulary to work with.

!Vincent_the_Victorious · Jun 26, 2006, 08:19 PM

I like it... I think I like your other style a little better though... But this is not bad at all. Keep on writing, I like to read them.

Adarrah · Jun 26, 2006, 08:43 PM

That's nice..... I like it, only you'll have to improve it a little.

*ketaro* · Jun 28, 2006, 07:24 AM

The poem was great, but as some else said, it didn't rhyme, keep it up.

Jun 21, 2006, 11:46 PM	#1 (permalink)
Shinigami's_Angel In The Arms Of My Lover Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: In Axel's Closet!! watch's him sleep XD Posts: 687 Thanks: 40 Thanked 7 Times in 6 Posts Credits: 3,351	Book Of Eterinty Here's some more lyrics of mine lol Sorry if they seem werid or anything lol Well,hope everybody enjoys them Title-Book Of Eterinty Torn to peices Pages just discared Pages torn to thousands of peices A precious book thrown to the floor Secret knowledge fills these pages Ancient spells come to life A light burst from the book A bright aura fills the room with light Such a powerful aura What kind of power could this be? An ancient knowledge we have never known What mysterious spells lurk within... A bright light comes forth And embraces you What is this warmth? Could this be what i've been looking for? How I have searched for so long for this feeling This warm feeling that embraces me The ancient knowledge The secret spells of Eterinty! I reach out for this unknow existance I reach it and embrace it tightly I embrace this Ancient secret,that is known as Eterinty. __________________ Made by- Ryomakurosaki (Thank you sooooo much!!) ^__^ Last edited by Shinigami's_Angel; Jun 23, 2006 at 06:08 AM.
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Jun 23, 2006, 12:22 AM	#3 (permalink)
setsuna mudo1617 Diamond in the Rough Join Date: May 2006 Location: florida Posts: 191 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 891	Re: Book Of Eterinty i like it. im bored.lol __________________
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Jun 23, 2006, 06:11 AM	#5 (permalink)
Shinigami's_Angel In The Arms Of My Lover Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: In Axel's Closet!! watch's him sleep XD Posts: 687 Thanks: 40 Thanked 7 Times in 6 Posts Credits: 3,351	Re: Book Of Eterinty Thanks Reese And yes I know.I was just writting whatever came 2 mind that day lol Thanks Setsuna Happy that you liked it And thanks for showing me that Elie And i'm very happy that you liked it __________________ Made by- Ryomakurosaki (Thank you sooooo much!!) ^__^
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Jun 25, 2006, 07:09 PM	#6 (permalink)
HieisLove Getting Married 3-14-09 Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: at home doing wedding planning Posts: 883 Thanks: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post Credits: 3,048	Re: Book Of Eterinty I like this one also. I mean, I'd say this the type of music I'd listen to. __________________ ~Music Is My Boyfriend!!~
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Jun 25, 2006, 08:36 PM	#7 (permalink)
HolderOfTheDarkChalice Tournaments Won: 1 King Of Darkness Join Date: May 2006 Location: someplace where the only light is the moon above Posts: 2,795 Thanks: 21 Thanked 20 Times in 19 Posts Credits: 3,212	Re: Book Of Eterinty this poem was great it reminds me of an rpg not to take away from the poem but it really did i liked this alot __________________ thanks mellow your sig is top notch http://www.animeonline.net/links/
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Jun 26, 2006, 03:57 PM	#8 (permalink)
Immortal Warrior Newbie Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: MI Posts: 31 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 210	Re: Book Of Eterinty It's interesting but I have a few beefs with it. 1. It doesn't rhyme or flow at all. 2. A few minor spelling errors and I think a few grammar ones as well. 3. It's rather generic. I can't get too much on you cuz' I've been guilty of all three of those things countless times. It's a very good beggining to some kind of fantasy story, or just plain cool as far as I'm concerned. Give it rythm because that can make or break a poem. Rhyming is something that has come naturally to me and it can be tricky even at the best of times, but it can seriously make a poem shine my friend, and you've got quite a vocabulary to work with. __________________ Writing is life again.
Status: Offline

Jun 26, 2006, 08:19 PM	#9 (permalink)
!Vincent_the_Victorious Banned Join Date: May 2006 Location: Right Freakin' Here!! Posts: 130 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: -167	Re: Book Of Eterinty I like it... I think I like your other style a little better though... But this is not bad at all. Keep on writing, I like to read them.
Status: Offline

Jun 26, 2006, 08:43 PM	#10 (permalink)
Adarrah Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Malaysia Posts: 320 Thanks: 3 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post Credits: 2,795	Re: Book Of Eterinty That's nice..... I like it, only you'll have to improve it a little. __________________ Carve an amble now, Saying that the day's still bright, And let's play with time.
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Jun 28, 2006, 07:24 AM	#11 (permalink)
ketaro kitty Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 4,221 Thanks: 27 Thanked 31 Times in 29 Posts Credits: 23,200	Re: Book Of Eterinty The poem was great, but as some else said, it didn't rhyme, keep it up.
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