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Old Jun 21, 2006, 11:46 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Book Of Eterinty

Here's some more lyrics of mine lol Sorry if they seem werid or anything lol Well,hope everybody enjoys them

Title-Book Of Eterinty

Torn to peices
Pages just discared
Pages torn to thousands of peices
A precious book thrown to the floor

Secret knowledge fills these pages
Ancient spells come to life
A light burst from the book
A bright aura fills the room with light

Such a powerful aura
What kind of power could this be?
An ancient knowledge we have never known
What mysterious spells lurk within...

A bright light comes forth
And embraces you
What is this warmth?
Could this be what i've been looking for?

How I have searched for so long for this feeling
This warm feeling that embraces me
The ancient knowledge
The secret spells of Eterinty!

I reach out for this unknow existance
I reach it and embrace it tightly
I embrace this Ancient secret,that is known as Eterinty.
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Last edited by Shinigami's_Angel; Jun 23, 2006 at 06:08 AM.
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Old Jun 22, 2006, 11:51 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Book Of Eterinty

I think you've had the Fushigi Yuugi concept embedded in your head, far too long Shini. lol. ^_^

A nice poem nonetheless.

Quote:
Torn to peices
Pages just discared
Pages torn to thousands of peices
A precious book thrown to the floor
^ My favourite quote. Good repetition with 'Torn' - it sends the audience an idea of 'Loss' and un-acknowledgement.
To be honest I like your other works better, but this is good also.
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Old Jun 23, 2006, 12:22 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Book Of Eterinty

i like it.
im bored.lol
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Old Jun 23, 2006, 01:25 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Re: Book Of Eterinty

hmm....i noticed some spelling mistakes u can edit it! arua- "AURA"
Quote:
A bright arua fills the room with light
this poems gives out a strange and mysterious feeling to readers ! me like
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Old Jun 23, 2006, 06:11 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Book Of Eterinty

Thanks Reese And yes I know.I was just writting whatever came 2 mind that day lol

Thanks Setsuna Happy that you liked it

And thanks for showing me that Elie And i'm very happy that you liked it
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Old Jun 25, 2006, 07:09 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Re: Book Of Eterinty

I like this one also. I mean, I'd say this the type of music I'd listen to.
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Old Jun 25, 2006, 08:36 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Re: Book Of Eterinty

this poem was great it reminds me
of an rpg not to take away from the poem
but it really did i liked this alot
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Old Jun 26, 2006, 03:57 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Re: Book Of Eterinty

It's interesting but I have a few beefs with it.
1. It doesn't rhyme or flow at all.
2. A few minor spelling errors and I think a few grammar ones as well.
3. It's rather generic.

I can't get too much on you cuz' I've been guilty of all three of those things countless times. It's a very good beggining to some kind of fantasy story, or just plain cool as far as I'm concerned. Give it rythm because that can make or break a poem. Rhyming is something that has come naturally to me and it can be tricky even at the best of times, but it can seriously make a poem shine my friend, and you've got quite a vocabulary to work with.
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Old Jun 26, 2006, 08:19 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Re: Book Of Eterinty

I like it... I think I like your other style a little better though... But this is not bad at all. Keep on writing, I like to read them.
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Old Jun 26, 2006, 08:43 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Re: Book Of Eterinty

That's nice..... I like it, only you'll have to improve it a little.
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Old Jun 28, 2006, 07:24 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Re: Book Of Eterinty

The poem was great, but as some else said, it didn't rhyme, keep it up.
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