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Thread: Book Of Eterinty

  1. #1
    Sorrow's Angel Shinigami's_Angel may be famous one day Shinigami's_Angel may be famous one day Shinigami's_Angel's Avatar
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    Book Of Eterinty

    Here's some more lyrics of mine lol Sorry if they seem werid or anything lol Well,hope everybody enjoys them

    Title-Book Of Eterinty

    Torn to peices
    Pages just discared
    Pages torn to thousands of peices
    A precious book thrown to the floor

    Secret knowledge fills these pages
    Ancient spells come to life
    A light burst from the book
    A bright aura fills the room with light

    Such a powerful aura
    What kind of power could this be?
    An ancient knowledge we have never known
    What mysterious spells lurk within...

    A bright light comes forth
    And embraces you
    What is this warmth?
    Could this be what i've been looking for?

    How I have searched for so long for this feeling
    This warm feeling that embraces me
    The ancient knowledge
    The secret spells of Eterinty!

    I reach out for this unknow existance
    I reach it and embrace it tightly
    I embrace this Ancient secret,that is known as Eterinty.
    Last edited by Shinigami's_Angel; Jun 23, 2006 at 06:08 AM.
    Made by- Ryomakurosaki (Thank you sooooo much!!) ^__^

  2. #2
    Otaku Reese may be famous one day Reese may be famous one day
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    Re: Book Of Eterinty

    I think you've had the Fushigi Yuugi concept embedded in your head, far too long Shini. lol. ^_^

    A nice poem nonetheless.

    Torn to peices
    Pages just discared
    Pages torn to thousands of peices
    A precious book thrown to the floor
    ^ My favourite quote. Good repetition with 'Torn' - it sends the audience an idea of 'Loss' and un-acknowledgement.
    To be honest I like your other works better, but this is good also.

  3. #3
    Otaku setsuna mudo1617 may be famous one day setsuna mudo1617 may be famous one day setsuna mudo1617's Avatar
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    Re: Book Of Eterinty

    i like it.
    im bored.lol

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    Elie Jelly elie26 may be famous one day elie26 may be famous one day elie26's Avatar
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    Re: Book Of Eterinty

    hmm....i noticed some spelling mistakes u can edit it! arua- "AURA"
    A bright arua fills the room with light
    this poems gives out a strange and mysterious feeling to readers ! me like

  5. #5
    Sorrow's Angel Shinigami's_Angel may be famous one day Shinigami's_Angel may be famous one day Shinigami's_Angel's Avatar
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    Re: Book Of Eterinty

    Thanks Reese And yes I know.I was just writting whatever came 2 mind that day lol

    Thanks Setsuna Happy that you liked it

    And thanks for showing me that Elie And i'm very happy that you liked it
    Made by- Ryomakurosaki (Thank you sooooo much!!) ^__^

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    ♥ (¯'·._.·[GEISHA ゲイシャ]·. HieisLove may be famous one day HieisLove may be famous one day HieisLove's Avatar
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    Re: Book Of Eterinty

    I like this one also. I mean, I'd say this the type of music I'd listen to.
    ♥ (¯'·._.·[GEISHA ゲイシャ]·._.·'¯) ♥

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    Re: Book Of Eterinty

    this poem was great it reminds me
    of an rpg not to take away from the poem
    but it really did i liked this alot
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  8. #8
    Newbie Immortal Warrior may be famous one day Immortal Warrior may be famous one day Immortal Warrior's Avatar
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    Re: Book Of Eterinty

    It's interesting but I have a few beefs with it.
    1. It doesn't rhyme or flow at all.
    2. A few minor spelling errors and I think a few grammar ones as well.
    3. It's rather generic.

    I can't get too much on you cuz' I've been guilty of all three of those things countless times. It's a very good beggining to some kind of fantasy story, or just plain cool as far as I'm concerned. Give it rythm because that can make or break a poem. Rhyming is something that has come naturally to me and it can be tricky even at the best of times, but it can seriously make a poem shine my friend, and you've got quite a vocabulary to work with.
    Writing is life again.

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