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Thread: break - up

  1. #1
    ★~Ao's Irish Fariy ~★ equinn may be famous one day equinn may be famous one day equinn's Avatar
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    break - up

    ok as i know you just wanted to be friends with me now

    i will hopefuly ecsept that some day

    but right now i cry longing to know what i did wrong

    even though you said it was because i wasnt getting the love i deserved

    witch wasnt true

    i had your love and you had mine to the max

    i told my friends what you told me they think that you were cheating on me..

    is that ture??

    becuase ever since i started going out with you a lot of people have asked me out

    and my anwer no

    i have i boyfirend

    even after he had grabed me i still said no even though i was sooo sceard of them that night

    so tell me the truth why you broke up with me and told a firend of ours who came back to me yesterday and asked me what had happened

    witch left me in a state beacuse you might have said all that but im confussed and starting to block out all love again

    because im not sure on the answer

    so please tell me again with the emotion to tell me were over

    because if yu dont tell me streat up im just gonna kee trying to get you back

  2. #2
    Otaku xxoxx is off to a good start xxoxx's Avatar
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    Re: break - up

    is that poem or something ....because i do not know ....
    but by the way its good if it's poem but there manyy wrong spelling ..
    good one ...there is a sad feeling in it ...

    Foolish beating

  3. #3
    Devoted Otaku Alucard_ML may be famous one day Alucard_ML may be famous one day Alucard_ML's Avatar
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    Re: break - up

    The spelling is not that bad, besides she made the poem, it's up to her how she makes them, it's just like writing a book, it's all up to you how you spell as long as other people understand it.... Anyway it's a good poem Equinn

  4. #4
    Warrior Monk kedar may be famous one day kedar may be famous one day kedar's Avatar
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    Re: break - up

    How much time did you spend writing and revising this poem, Lizzie?

    The sentences are kinda too long and loose. It sure has potential, but you ought to devote more time in order to construct sentences that capture well the meaning you are trying to convey without being so long!

    Work on it, ok? I am sure it will come out great!

  5. #5
    「Someone」 Goo Slasher Champion, Fish Kill Champion, Rapid Motion Champion, Cell-Out Champion, Sober Santa 2 Champion, Flower Girl Champion KuwiRules145 is off to a good start KuwiRules145's Avatar
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    Re: break - up

    Your poem is great even without the spelling mistakes! It reminds me of my aunts condition a bit but I loved it anyway! I hope to see more later!
    「When I'm sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead」

  6. #6
    ★~Ao's Irish Fariy ~★ equinn may be famous one day equinn may be famous one day equinn's Avatar
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    Re: break - up

    thanks everyone

    btw kedar i will try to ut more effort into it k its just i really needed to get it off my chest

  7. #7
    Newbie zig93 is off to a good start
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    Re: break - up

    I liked the poem bad spelling and all. Write how you feel and everything will fall into place alot of great people started out the same way that you did dont change anything unless you feel that you need to change it.

  8. #8
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    Re: break - up

    @.@ wow... u really let them out there... but don't seem like a poem...more like a story... hmm...

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