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Thread: breaking down

  1. #17
    Rawr~ :3 Boxteroid Champion, flyplane Champion, Home Run Champion, Bubbelfutsch Champion, Fire Fighter Champion, Brendans Soccer Champion, Movie Star Match-Up Champion, Total blackout Champion, Text Your Reflexes Champion, Scary movie Champion, Hulk Smash Up Champion, Star Wars Champion, Extreme Snowboarding Champion, Air Disc Champion, Action Fish Champion, A Game Of 3 Halves Champion, Battleball Champion, Hacky Sack Champion, FAD 2003 Champion, SQRL Golf Champion, Dr Yeckyl and Mr Ride Champion, Sky Glide Champion, Flyer Champion, Finnair Champion, Drachenjagd Champion, Canyon Glider Champion, City Surfing Champion, Action Driving Game Champion, Extreme Rowing Champion, Kardahdg Champion, Acceleracers Track Mod Champion, Final Test Champion, Du Wichtel Champion, Pedal Power Champion, Camera Killer 2 Champion, Bike Mania on ICE Champion, ATV Winter Challenge Champion, Caliber Dash Champion, Diesel and Death Champion, Snow Ride Champion, Camera Killer Champion, Pepsi Jet Ski Champion, Bumper Cars Championship Champion, Drifting Champion, Get A Grip Champion, Rooney on the Rampage Champion, Death To Ninja Champion, Kung Fu Hustle 2 Champion, Muay Thai Champion, Metal Arm FAWEGE Champion, Knife Champion, Classroom Fighter Champion, Nobuyuki Forces 3 Champion, Caddeva Champion, Sewer Dweller Champion, Angel Mart Champion, Snowy Champion, Bola Champion, Boiler Room Champion, Bobcat Champion, Amazon Quest Champion, Booty Champion, Five Errors Champion, Mind Your Marbles Champion, Angel Fruit Champion, Binggrae Champion, Candy Shoot Champion, Imperial tiles Champion, Himalayaya - Yeti Strikes Back Champion, Terrorist Attack Champion, Americas Army Champion, Special Operations Champion, Destroy the robots Champion, Cubicle Warfare Champion, Battle Field Champion, Weapons Dealer Champion, Army Copter Champion, Flat War Champion, Terrorist Alert Champion, Bully Basher Champion, Reaktor Champion, Bungee Rescue Champion, The Contraptor Champion, Boris Champion, Carling Cold Champion, Paddleball Champion RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe's Avatar
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    Re: breaking down

    confusing a bit..hmmm not bad actually..need some work on grammar and spelling...
    plus too many repeating words.. :/ try and use wider vocabulary to make it more interesting.. thats my suggestion..but it's ur choice... ^^ u can make it repeat like a song if u like to.. ^^

    Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!!
    I'm BACK AO!
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  2. #18
    Dragonrider Ichigo_06 is off to a good start Ichigo_06's Avatar
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    Re: breaking down

    thanks ray me. I aprreciate your feedback. and I will work on that.
    ナサン フォオツド
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    Make one person smile for it will continue to spread but if you make a frown that will spread as well.http://www.animeonline.net/gallery/s...0/ppuser/57173

  3. #19
    Otaku DEMON SPAWN may be famous one day DEMON SPAWN may be famous one day DEMON SPAWN's Avatar
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    Re: breaking down

    I think this is better than the friendship one! the words seem tho flow a lot better and it a lot deeper. I liked this one alot! so, keep up the good work!

  4. #20
    Dragonrider Ichigo_06 is off to a good start Ichigo_06's Avatar
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    Re: breaking down

    thanks man all feed back is appreciated. I am glad you like it. I will post more soon I hope.
    ナサン フォオツド
    Keep what you hold dear close for one day they may be gone forever!
    Make one person smile for it will continue to spread but if you make a frown that will spread as well.http://www.animeonline.net/gallery/s...0/ppuser/57173

  5. #21
    Otaku chrystalann2004 is off to a good start chrystalann2004's Avatar
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    Re: breaking down

    very strong and alot of feeling here.
    not knowing where to go or were to stay can hard .
    yes your friend will alway bring you up no mater what u r
    going through.

    hope to see more soon okay

  6. #22
    Dragonrider Ichigo_06 is off to a good start Ichigo_06's Avatar
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    Re: breaking down

    Thank you Chrystalanna I am glad you liked it your feedback is greatly appreciated
    ナサン フォオツド
    Keep what you hold dear close for one day they may be gone forever!
    Make one person smile for it will continue to spread but if you make a frown that will spread as well.http://www.animeonline.net/gallery/s...0/ppuser/57173

  7. #23
    Mathematical!! Bugz Champion, Ant Bully Champion, Chainsaw the childern Champion, 3D Net Blazer Champion, Cricket Challenge Champion, Big Uglies Champion, Body Check Champion, Desktop Fishing Champion, All Star Skate Park Champion, Chuckie Egg Champion, Birdy Champion, Anthrax Jelly Champion, Air Typer Champion, Word Pads Champion, Crash Test Dummy Curling Champion, The Mini Jump Game Champion, Chairlift Challenge Champion, Astroboy vs One Bad Storm Champion, Fight Man Champion, Blot In Hell Champion, Beeku Adventure Champion, Connect2 Champion, Atomica Champion, Cannonball Follies 2 Champion, Bada Boing Champion, BeachDefence Champion, Alkie Kong 2 Champion atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout's Avatar
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    Re: breaking down

    "Darkness brings only doubt." Very nice!

    I like this one alot. Everybody's had those "should I stay or should i go now" phases, I'm sure. It sucks not knowing what the next move is gonna be. Good work on this one! ^_^


  8. #24
    Dragonrider Ichigo_06 is off to a good start Ichigo_06's Avatar
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    Re: breaking down

    Thanks again sprout glad you liked it and yes darkness does bring only doubt in my oppinion. lol anyways post more soon! friends!
    ナサン フォオツド
    Keep what you hold dear close for one day they may be gone forever!
    Make one person smile for it will continue to spread but if you make a frown that will spread as well.http://www.animeonline.net/gallery/s...0/ppuser/57173

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