+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: broken abstinence

  1. #1
    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Friendly Fridley
    Posts
    1,477
    Thanks
    124
    Thanked 140 Times in 121 Posts

    broken abstinence

    Stupid Girl!
    Stop crying!
    Stop wishing...
    For him to be sympathetic!
    You cant cry out any louder.
    You cant be more pathetic!

    Even your friends tell you,
    they dont think you love yourself.
    Sitting around waiting
    to get pulled down off the shelf.


    You kept your pride hidden.
    In the only thing left that was yours alone.
    And you just gave it all away.
    Can't take it back now... its gone.
    You let it happen.
    You knew it felt wrong.
    And everyone around you,
    knew just what was goin' on.

    They tried to stop it.
    But you werent tryin' to hear their rants.
    And you have nothing to show for it.
    Except perhaps a passing glance.
    Years spent waiting for that moment.
    But it felt just like shaking hands.
    You didnt just make expectations...
    you made plans.
    2 and a half years of abstinence...
    ...broken...
    Probably the first in a future streak of one night stands.

    But who can you blame?
    Did you really think sh*t would change?...
    And now, you have no pride...
    ...doesn't that feel strange?

    Write your poems.
    Because you're too frail for these words to be spoken.
    He'll try to fix the whole world.
    Before he'll fix what he's broken.
    Might as well go out and make yourself
    Another man's token.
    All you had.
    All you'll ever have...
    Its Broken.
    Last edited by Peach_follows; Jul 18, 2007 at 09:02 PM.
    ... Not Ever Again...

  2. #2
    Otaku sangogirl may be famous one day sangogirl may be famous one day sangogirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    http://chibitalkatx.blogspot.com/
    Posts
    452
    Thanks
    6
    Thanked 12 Times in 12 Posts

    Re: broken abstinence

    i like it. the rhyme was a little inconsistent but it's really good. it has a good point and i like how you put those words together they really are good rhymes. i liked it i'm pretty sure that a lot of people can sympathize with this poem.
    every rose has a thorn

  3. #3
    Thanks for the memories princesslady may be famous one day princesslady may be famous one day princesslady's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    In solitude
    Posts
    1,465
    Thanks
    6
    Thanked 21 Times in 20 Posts

    Re: broken abstinence

    *snaps* loved it chica! sweet and with meaning. loved how it rhymed. go head on now

    Born to rule, raised to lead, taught to establish: The African Queen

  4. #4
    Elie Jelly elie26 may be famous one day elie26 may be famous one day elie26's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Hell is an understatement
    Posts
    593
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Re: broken abstinence

    Love it >< Me<- fan here
    *screams for autograph* ^^ Well, I really thought the last 2 phrases was a "HIT". You let it trail off and ending it with "Broken" .. Overall I like the storyline(what happened to you sayin u wanna chg to a diff theme?)
    But yeah.. still hoping to see something new from u ^^

  5. #5
    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Friendly Fridley
    Posts
    1,477
    Thanks
    124
    Thanked 140 Times in 121 Posts

    Re: broken abstinence

    Quote Originally Posted by sangogirl View Post
    i like it. the rhyme was a little inconsistent but it's really good. it has a good point and i like how you put those words together they really are good rhymes. i liked it i'm pretty sure that a lot of people can sympathize with this poem.
    This poem wasnt supposed to have much structure, I needed it to sound crazy... to sound panicy... because thats how I felt. The fact that it rhymed is only because I have a hard time NOT rhyming.

    Quote Originally Posted by princesslady View Post
    *snaps* loved it chica! sweet and with meaning. loved how it rhymed. go head on now
    I never see you on here! Hows that manga business comin' along? Im gonna go hit up your profile riiiiiggght now!

    Quote Originally Posted by elie26 View Post
    Love it >< Me<- fan here
    *screams for autograph* ^^ Well, I really thought the last 2 phrases was a "HIT". You let it trail off and ending it with "Broken" .. Overall I like the storyline(what happened to you sayin u wanna chg to a diff theme?)
    But yeah.. still hoping to see something new from u ^^
    Ha ha ha... change my theme... ha ha ha. There always seems to be something more to touch on when it comes to this "topic".
    ... Not Ever Again...

+ Reply to Thread

Similar Threads

  1. Broken
    By flaminghate in forum Poems
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: Mar 19, 2007, 02:02 PM
  2. broken
    By inuyashagurl in forum Poems
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: Dec 14, 2006, 08:50 PM
  3. Broken Hearted
    By Shinigami's_Angel in forum Poems
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: Aug 17, 2006, 08:26 PM
  4. broken...
    By 1LAstTyM in forum The Thread Vault
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: Apr 28, 2005, 06:34 PM
  5. Is it broken?
    By linx88 in forum The Thread Vault
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: Mar 12, 2005, 07:35 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts