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Thread: A Broken Man's Love

  1. #1
    Legendary Otaku divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment's Avatar
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    A Broken Man's Love

    (Don't ask me why, but I've been in a rather poetic mood lately. This one is about a crush. Don't be too brutal, people! )

    Upon deaf ears my proclamations fell;
    Could she not hear the whispered lines?
    I am lame, cannot walk, as my heart confines
    The love I know so well.

    Blind gods rule my fate;
    Can they not see I love her?
    I've been struck mute, my words run for cover.
    Can I tell her before it's too late?

    I am disabled, feeling so hollow;
    Does she not know how I need her?
    Non compos mentis, I chase after a leader
    Who doesn't even know that I follow . . .

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    Re: A Broken Man's Love

    Awww....**tear** Unrequited love!!!!! It was really good!!!!! It makes me wonder....

    DEMON SPAWN IS AWESOME!!!!! XP

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    Re: A Broken Man's Love

    The last two verses of he secnd stanza are a bit incongruous to me. Other than that? A good read.
    Seduced by Flesh


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    Re: A Broken Man's Love

    lol i have been through that my self but that was another
    life time ago lol but this poem reall brings back alot of time
    i knew it was love and thought she was just ignoring me or
    maybe she just didnt like me or something i didnt get it till
    way later in life .

    this was an awesome poem and it hits the nail on the head
    with crushes good job

  5. #5
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    Re: A Broken Man's Love

    I've had a few crushes in my day and that poem kinda reminded me of how I felt then. Good job.
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    x._Loveless.Murder_.x Aiora may be famous one day Aiora may be famous one day Aiora's Avatar
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    Re: A Broken Man's Love

    Quote Originally Posted by divine_punishment View Post
    (Don't ask me why, but I've been in a rather poetic mood lately. This one is about a crush. Don't be too brutal, people! )

    Upon deaf ears my proclamations fell;
    Could she not hear the whispered lines?
    I am lame, cannot walk, as my heart confines
    The love I know so well.

    Blind gods rule my fate;
    Can they not see I love her?
    I've been struck mute, my words run for cover.
    Can I tell her before it's too late?

    I am disabled, feeling so hollow;
    Does she not know how I need her?
    Non compos mentis, I chase after a leader
    Who doesn't even know that I follow . . .
    hmmm....not a bad poem ^.^ may i ask whom this is about? or is it personal?


    -".. Chase the morning, yield for nothing."

  7. #7
    Legendary Otaku divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment's Avatar
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    Re: A Broken Man's Love

    Let's leave it at "this is a crush on a close friend who doesn't get it. All I can do is follow and bask in this wonderful person's glory."

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