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Old May 04, 2006, 09:14 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Broken Oath

Broken Oath
The wind blows gently,
Branches, heavy with white cherry blossoms,
Sway releasing a cascade of white snow
The moon out, silent witness to broken oath
A glitter of steel, a flash of light
Two masters caught in a deadly dance
One who swore never to take life again
Another foresaw the death of his foe
Both move in the rhythm of the other
A bolt of lightning , the strike of a snake
Point struck, puncturing lifeline
Blood stains the ground crimson
The earth hungrily soaks it all
A whisper of final curse
Brief like the flutter of a struggling bird
The wind stirs sweeping away the dying breath
Carrying away the soul of the restless
To a place unknown, where slain warriors
Live again on the battle field
As the master weeps for a broken oath
a cloud covers the moon
cloaking the land in darkness
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Old May 04, 2006, 09:40 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Broken Oath

I love the nature you put in it. Very cool poem. I do hope to see more.
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Old May 04, 2006, 09:52 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Broken Oath

wow this feels like wut would have happened if Kenshin Himura had broken his oath to nvr kill again. I like it dude. Look forward to reading more
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Old May 04, 2006, 10:38 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Re: Broken Oath

Neat poem! I like it very much. The meaning is beautiful, and the word suited properly, which gave more of poetic structure to this poem. (^^) Yes, like Blade already mentioned, this poem kinda reminded me of Kenshin as well yet it is quite different at certain angles, in a way. So, awesome work, bud! I haven't seen a lot other poems of yours, so please do share, if you have them written.
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Old May 05, 2006, 07:18 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Broken Oath

This poem is pretty interesting man, i like the way you wrote it, keep up the good work.
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Old May 05, 2006, 07:24 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Re: Broken Oath

Wow, I am impressed! This is really good. You wrote it very well and I like the rhythm of the poem. Keep up the good work!
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Old May 05, 2006, 07:32 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Re: Broken Oath

this kind of reminds of a game i play
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Old May 05, 2006, 07:55 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Re: Broken Oath

Thanks. It is based on Kenshin Himura. It seems like something he would do.
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Old May 05, 2006, 09:05 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Re: Broken Oath

Hey dude . Nice poem and very interesting . Like to see more of them though.
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