Broken Oath

whitefoxdemon · May 04, 2006, 09:14 AM

Broken Oath
The wind blows gently,
Branches, heavy with white cherry blossoms,
Sway releasing a cascade of white snow
The moon out, silent witness to broken oath
A glitter of steel, a flash of light
Two masters caught in a deadly dance
One who swore never to take life again
Another foresaw the death of his foe
Both move in the rhythm of the other
A bolt of lightning , the strike of a snake
Point struck, puncturing lifeline
Blood stains the ground crimson
The earth hungrily soaks it all
A whisper of final curse
Brief like the flutter of a struggling bird
The wind stirs sweeping away the dying breath
Carrying away the soul of the restless
To a place unknown, where slain warriors
Live again on the battle field
As the master weeps for a broken oath
a cloud covers the moon
cloaking the land in darkness

*Mr. K* · May 04, 2006, 09:40 AM

I love the nature you put in it. Very cool poem. I do hope to see more.

*Blade X* · May 04, 2006, 09:52 AM

wow this feels like wut would have happened if Kenshin Himura had broken his oath to nvr kill again. I like it dude. Look forward to reading more

kedar · May 04, 2006, 10:38 AM

Neat poem! I like it very much. The meaning is beautiful, and the word suited properly, which gave more of poetic structure to this poem. (^^) Yes, like Blade already mentioned, this poem kinda reminded me of Kenshin as well yet it is quite different at certain angles, in a way. So, awesome work, bud! I haven't seen a lot other poems of yours, so please do share, if you have them written.

*ketaro* · May 05, 2006, 07:18 AM

This poem is pretty interesting man, i like the way you wrote it, keep up the good work.

Priestess Angel · May 05, 2006, 07:24 AM

Wow, I am impressed! This is really good. You wrote it very well and I like the rhythm of the poem. Keep up the good work!

*hellknight* · May 05, 2006, 07:32 AM

this kind of reminds of a game i play

whitefoxdemon · May 05, 2006, 07:55 AM

Thanks. It is based on Kenshin Himura. It seems like something he would do.

bloodymoonreaper · May 05, 2006, 09:05 AM

Hey dude . Nice poem and very interesting . Like to see more of them though.

May 04, 2006, 09:14 AM	#1 (permalink)
whitefoxdemon Newbie Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: in a dark, lonely place Posts: 94 Thanks: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post Credits: 322	Broken Oath Broken Oath The wind blows gently, Branches, heavy with white cherry blossoms, Sway releasing a cascade of white snow The moon out, silent witness to broken oath A glitter of steel, a flash of light Two masters caught in a deadly dance One who swore never to take life again Another foresaw the death of his foe Both move in the rhythm of the other A bolt of lightning , the strike of a snake Point struck, puncturing lifeline Blood stains the ground crimson The earth hungrily soaks it all A whisper of final curse Brief like the flutter of a struggling bird The wind stirs sweeping away the dying breath Carrying away the soul of the restless To a place unknown, where slain warriors Live again on the battle field As the master weeps for a broken oath a cloud covers the moon cloaking the land in darkness
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May 04, 2006, 09:40 AM	#2 (permalink)
Mr. K THUMBSUCKING ADDICTION Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Alaska Posts: 1,266 Thanks: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post Credits: 3,203	Re: Broken Oath *I love the nature you put in it. Very cool poem. I do hope to see more.* __________________ ≥°≤ [?] █▓▒░░▒▓█ [?] ≥°≤ ◕ ◡ ◕;;;;[?]
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May 04, 2006, 09:52 AM	#3 (permalink)
Blade X AO's Demon Slayer Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Protecting my loved one. Posts: 1,606 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 1,446	Re: Broken Oath wow this feels like wut would have happened if Kenshin Himura had broken his oath to nvr kill again. I like it dude. Look forward to reading more __________________ Thanks for the siggy Ky-lyrra
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May 04, 2006, 10:38 AM	#4 (permalink)
kedar Warrior Monk Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Monk Society Posts: 2,969 Thanks: 3 Thanked 7 Times in 7 Posts Credits: 16,671	Re: Broken Oath Neat poem! I like it very much. The meaning is beautiful, and the word suited properly, which gave more of poetic structure to this poem. (^^) Yes, like Blade already mentioned, this poem kinda reminded me of Kenshin as well yet it is quite different at certain angles, in a way. So, awesome work, bud! I haven't seen a lot other poems of yours, so please do share, if you have them written. __________________
Status: Offline

May 05, 2006, 07:18 AM	#5 (permalink)
ketaro kitty Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 4,221 Thanks: 27 Thanked 31 Times in 29 Posts Credits: 23,188	Re: Broken Oath This poem is pretty interesting man, i like the way you wrote it, keep up the good work.
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May 05, 2006, 07:24 AM	#6 (permalink)
Priestess Angel Nisou Tenshi Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Right where you think I am Posts: 542 Thanks: 18 Thanked 21 Times in 17 Posts Credits: 14,299	Re: Broken Oath Wow, I am impressed! This is really good. You wrote it very well and I like the rhythm of the poem. Keep up the good work! __________________
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May 05, 2006, 07:32 AM	#7 (permalink)
hellknight Hell Enforcer Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: South dakota, Native American Posts: 1,442 Thanks: 2 Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts Credits: 15,340	Re: Broken Oath this kind of reminds of a game i play
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May 05, 2006, 07:55 AM	#8 (permalink)
whitefoxdemon Newbie Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: in a dark, lonely place Posts: 94 Thanks: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post Credits: 322	Re: Broken Oath Thanks. It is based on Kenshin Himura. It seems like something he would do.
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May 05, 2006, 09:05 AM	#9 (permalink)
bloodymoonreaper Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: wherever they will take me in Posts: 150 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 110	Re: Broken Oath Hey dude . Nice poem and very interesting . Like to see more of them though.
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