bratling

my life is empty in a whole new way today,
Because I had to be the big girl, I could not play.
I had to stand up, and prove I knew what was right.
Even though I had to start this fight.
I should have never gone there and said what I said.
And all I can think as I crawl into bed,
Is how sweet the nothingness of sleep really is,
And how hard the day is to pull through.
Especially with the thought of you,
Loving someone else, or thinking she's prettier then I.
It really makes my selfish ass want to die.
But I did this and I have to deal with it.
I can't change the past only the future.
And mine can't include you in it.
I can't be responcible for the reason you don't see,
The seed that you produced. It needs to grow,
And so do you.
I can't be responcible for your lackluster life,
And I know your life would suck, if I was your wife.
I can't be happy, I'm evil, I'm mean.
And I can't do that to you too.
So let me slip into my nothingness.
It hurts so much less then knowing I can't let you stay.

__________________
She's always trying not to cry.
But I can see the demons in her eyes.
She's always trying not to yell.
But you see to her, she's trapped in hell.

Ichigo_06

Holy crap Bratling I dont know what to say although I think that one might have been better in stanzas and hum maybe...........ah whatever when I read it it felt like something was being torn out and I think that is how he felt too, hum well keep up the good work.

__________________

bratling

That's what it felt like while I was writing. Like...ripping, tearing, being pulled away. It sucks. But I'm glad I conveyed it clearly enough. I agree though the whole big block of text thing is often a turn off to readers.

__________________
She's always trying not to cry.
But I can see the demons in her eyes.
She's always trying not to yell.
But you see to her, she's trapped in hell.

RayMe

__________________

Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!!
The best ever Lasura~!
>>>myspace<<<

Ichigo_06

yeah but sometimes the words also catch peoples attention too bratling. like this one and the title cought mine. keep it up.

__________________

highteckdudu

__________________
I tryed to see things from your point of view but i cant seem to get my head that far up my ass!
Visit www.highteckdudu.webs.com!

bratling

I'm glad you can see the mix of emotions. They are often really conflicting for me anyways so it's difficult for me to pinpoint that mix.
Yeah. I agree. I often read only by titles. If I don't like the title I save time by assuming I won't like the poem. I love when I'm suprised by them though.
I appriciate your comments. Thank you! I'm glad you think so highly of my work. It's sad yeah...devistated even. My world has been crumbling for more then a year now. I don't know how else to write I guess.

__________________
She's always trying not to cry.
But I can see the demons in her eyes.
She's always trying not to yell.
But you see to her, she's trapped in hell.

Ichigo_06

but also the title can be off even if it sounds interesting it could be boring to. cant judge a book by the title.

__________________